Countdown

The beginning of a new decade and the end of the first decade of the 21st century.  Tonight we celebrate the passing into a new year and a new decade.  11 is a good number - a double first.

When I was a small kid, I had often pondered and marvelled at how long it would be before the 21st century came around and I used to count how old I would be by the turn of the century.  Well, I ponder no more because time as relentless in its flow as a river finding its way to the sea had brought the change which was more commonplace than I had imagined way back then.  I spent the hours between 1999 and 2000 watching my servers and news of countries entering one by one into the new millennium to see if cataclysm and chaos would reign.  There was nary a whimper of anything extraordinary save for the usual gallavanting and fireworks.  The divine did not come down in person(s) to bless us and I simply grew another day older.  Oftentimes, our childish imaginations are more exciting than reality.

We will be at Mountain House cheering the countdown loudly and pulling poppers with relish.  With friends who have become a sort of surrogate extended family without whom we would have been adrift in a new land.

Time for us all to make new resolutions and to remember to keep them.  Taking a leaf off the Y2K non-event, for me, it will be to stop worrying so much and let destiny take us where it will.  Time to let my hair down a little.  Surely it is not my burden alone to bear.  Happy New Year to all loved ones, far and near!  You all mean a lot to me.

Survival Sigh

In a bit of a panic mode.  Unexpected recent spend and recent deluge of hefty college and other expenses are making a very serious dent.  Nightmarish.  Including constant doubts about whether enough was set aside for one of the two constants, this having been the first year of full fledged residency.  May have to re-evaluate ability to do a cap reduction.  Wish the year can end on a more merry note.  Worry and fright.  Happiness hormone, anyone?

Happy Holidays

To all my family and friends,

Merry Christmas from us here in California.  We miss you and wish we were all together singing as we used to do, tearing up gift wrappers and making promises not to overspend ever again knowing full well we will not be able to keep them and over-eating recklessly.  Those were fun days and after what we just went through would have been the kind of healing that we need.

Peace on earth and goodwill towards all men - would that this could really come true.  So we can go back to days of simpler living.

Have a good one!  From YL, HK, Nic and R.

Memories

It is the winter solstice.  First day of winter and the longest night of the year.  Somehow it all seems fitting.  The event that occurred had been the bleakest for a long time but it is all behind us now.  The hours of sunshine should grow longer and with them, new beginnings for those most affected.

We bade farewell to one we dearly loved.  She fought the good fight.  We did not return in time to hold her one more time and tell her how dear we hold her in our hearts.  I did not heed my daughter's crying urgent pleas enough.  The logistics of daily living and the apron strings of one still in school bound too tightly.  I regret it now.  I should have made the tough decision, turned a deaf ear to the whine and thrown aside the mantle of the workplace.  Just gone.

Yet the heavens were kind and we made the trip.  To share in the sadness of her passing and to celebrate the life she had lived.  I hope she heard my cries and saw my grief.  I like to think she knew we would come home for her.

The reconnection with those at home was good.  Unspoken amends were made and relationships re-established and re-bonded.  The renewal of kinships.  The very memorable massages for an unyielding shoulder.  The last hours of laughter and conversations at departure with family and friends from both sides.  Priceless.

I cannot wait to go back again but at the same time, coming back here reasserted the sanity and calm of daily living.  We came back to hugs from one who waited at the airport and to what I thought would be a freezing house but there was a level of warmth that surprised me.  The front door was a mess of leaves from the lone Japanese maple but that only made it seemed all the more welcoming.

I was and am home.