Twists & Turns

The first rain of Fall.  Was very determined to go out, browse, get a thing or two for the house.  But as usual, housework triumphed and out goes all plans once the drizzle started.  Shoot.

Finally, laundered that mite ridden excuse of a bolster.  The bolster cover from Pandan Valley when the four were still small eventually lost the good fight and its seam ripped all the way through.  Found it on the floor discarded like a rag last week (so much for no, you are not taking that away, ever) and tossed into the thrash.  It was not even missed till today.  Warm and toasty from the dryer and into a brand new white cover YY brought on her last trip here and that bolster is getting a new lease on life.  Limp it may be but still well loved and comforting to a certain 15 year-old who has always been happy with old things.  Not one for shiny new things that one.  Pretty low maintenance and that suits me fine.  Except for those infernal golf, then tennis lessons that always cost more than all my monthly spend.

Lately been pondering the sense and sensibility of giving up the higher disposable income back home for living paycheck to paycheck in the US of A.  Was taking that turn in the fork of life's journey the correct one?  Where will this one eventually lead and what would have awaited at the end of the other branch?  So many possibilities.  But are they really possibilities?  Perhaps one does not really have a choice.  They look like forks but you could never have taken the other road.  It is a mirage to make you think you have a choice.  Still, it is intriguing and at the same time heart breaking.  My career is going nowhere, my kids will still be tugging at the apron strings for some time, and the face that looks back each morning and night is getting more lined.  When will the next fork in the road appear and what (mis)adventures beckon at the end of those dividers before the next fork appears?

I think of those I left behind and I feel homesick.  Why can't we all be here?  I just don't see a fork leading us back there.  Not yet.