Holiday

Took lots of planning and then it is all over. They say time flies when you are having fun. Well, I have discovered as you get older, time flies, no matter what.

So we packed off for a one week vacation on an insane itinerary that took us all the way north-east to Toronto just so we could then fly all the way south to Jamaica. You would have thought going in a straight line eastward as the bird flies would have made more sense but who can figure out the ways of airline logistics and connecting flight schedules.

Trouble was too that our flight out of SFO was changed to an earlier one so instead of a red-eye which would have nicely fitted in with the next one to Montego Bay, we left in the afternoon causing me to miss a webminar that I was very keen to attend. Then we ended up, all four of us, camping out at the Pearson Airport, uncomfortably huddled and curled up on make shift chair-beds waiting for morning to come so we could check into our next leg. Meanwhile because Air Canada no longer provides free meals, we were held to ransom by a couple of vendors who knew they had us good and sold us some sandwiches at outrageous exchange rates. What to do? Beggars cannot be choosers and we were not well prepared for the overnight layover. It was one cramped night.

The funny thing about the 5-day stay in Jamaica - we never stepped foot on a beach, not even the one at the hotel resort. The resort itself was pretty nice - it'd better be considering how outrageous the rates were at more than twice what you would pay for a decent family hotel here in the States. It is so ironic that we went to a beach resort full of activities and facilities for the entire family and we spent almost all our daylight hours in the car driving to distant towns, winding our ways through highways trying hard to avoid the speeding local cars and winding through somewhat intimidating, extremely crowded narrow streets in the local markets. Jamaica is much larger than Singapore at over 4,000 sq miles and driving from town to town is time consuming.

The first day, Tuesday, was easy going after the uncomfortable night. We landed around noon, had some very cheap and nice whole fish lunch at the outside airport restaurant while waiting to get our rented car. Took us a while to find our hotel (it was further from the airport than we had envisioned) but it was pretty good. Nice resort hotel with lots of families there. But expensive. The room was very decent and given the hotel was recently renovated, we had no complaints. After a rest, for dinner, we went to Pork Pit which we saw on the tourist map and had our first experience with Jamaican's famous chicken and pork jerk. Yummy! We could have done without the houseflies but nevertheless, yummy! We passed through Doctor's Cave which I had researched on the internet when trying to book a hotel and seeing it real life is so different from reading about it. I was put off by the reviews of the hotels there on Doctor's Cave even though they are much cheaper than on Montego Bay and seeing what the place was like, I am glad I did not put us all there. It is just a narrow strip full of tourist shops selling the same things and restaurants that we did not think were value for money.

On the second day, as we were driving to a waterfall which we eventually decided we were too cheap to pay US$15 a person to see, we were trapped by a couple of policemen with a speed gun and yes, we had to pay our "dues". They caught me trying to take a picture and waved the index finger at me in a "no no" gesture. But little did they know I had already had one shot as a souvenir of the local practice. It was surprising they even knew it was an Avis rental even before the Man got out to talk to them. Ha!

Somewhat disheartened, we went looking for food and ended up at Ultimate Jerk, a pretty nice very clean restaurant with a beautiful thatched roof and no walls, not too far from the speed trap, and had very good Jamaican chicken jerk, goat curry and rice with red beans. Washed down with very good ginger beer. Totally changed our moods. Then went onto Ochio Rio where we ended up spending a few hours in a large flea market, bargaining for trinkets, a straw hat for moi, Jamaican coffee and Doris happily got a nice painting for just US$15. Luckily, the place had lots of shade under almond trees so it was very bearable.

Jamaica is just like Singapore, hot muggy and oppressively sticky. Although the weather forecasts on my iTouch had said rain everyday, it only rained a couple of days we were there. Just like Singapore - the rains do not last and they do cool down the temperatures when they come.

It was funny but we ended up driving insanely far from our hotel to go back to Ultimate Jerk the next evening for dinner when Pork Pit (the half man's choice which was vetoed) was so much nearer. The folks there recognized us and were amused when they found out we had come all the way from Montego Bay just for their jerk. The drive there was close to 50 km, one way. And I drove and everyone had fun with my driving, especially when we neared the hotel.

The only blot on the whole holiday was that the half man was not so well the first few days. Congested nose, slightly raised temperature from before the trip when he was running a fever the whole day and I had to sponge him with ice water and pieces of ice wrapped in a towel. Still, he was sporty and took the whole trip in stride, sitting through the long car rides to get from one place to another. He did recover after we got some meds from a local pharmacy and even went for dips in the hotel swimming pools with his aunt on two consecutive evenings.

We did not do much on the third day. After driving to Doctor's Cave for some lunch and to look for an art gallery that the artist Doris bought the painting had told her about, we went back and played some tennis under the scorching heat. The rain soon put an end to our game but it mercifully cooled down the place. We ended up at the pool that evening with the aunt and nephew taking a swim and I ended up sitting on the ground next to a low footpath light trying to read Kite Runner on my precious Kindle 2. There was a band playing the usual reggae type songs, at the large open area just next to the pool where we were, to a very appreciative hotel crowd so it was pretty enjoyable overall.

On Friday, we wanted to see Kingston despite the Man's foreboding because of all the stuff he had read about the place on the internet. We left relatively early and ended up driving through lots of small towns, getting lost in a town called Claremont and backtracking over an extremely narrow road up a rather steep hill. After getting out of Calremont, on the way to Spanish Town, we passed through a very enchanting tree covered road through a mountainous region where we saw some interesting road side stalls hawking the usual wood crafts but there were many with more exaggerated anatomical depictions of manhood which we found amusing. The views on that mountainous stretch were the best we had in Jamaica. Spanish Town was a disappointment. Nothing there except lots of light industries, to tempt us to stop and take a look around, even for a bit. But we had to pass through it to get to nearby Kingston.

Our experience of Kingston was not typical - we did not really see the city. We drove for a long time and ended up somehow in a local market just after mid-day that was the most crowded, dirty and scary one of all. Round and round we went slowly trying to avoid the masses of people and other traffic and passed through a street that reminded me of Sago Lane - it was full of funeral parlors and you can see coffins stacked up in the shops. We did not feel like stopping anywhere after that crazy half hour trying to get out of the market. Even then, after leaving the market, at one point, we lost our way and was lucky enough to ask directions from a Caucasian man who definitely looked like he had lived there a long time who led us back to the highway. And he drove just like a local too - crazy speed down narrow roads.

We got onto a new highway that was such a joy to drive compared to the narrow crowded local roads full of impatient drivers who overtake like madmen and honk in the first microsecond the red light turns green. Like it was a contest to see who spots the change of traffic lights first.

As we rounded the west end of the island, we passed through Negril which is another popular resort town. In the night, with all the hotels lighted up, it looked very inviting and we were determined to come back the next day for a look around.

So that day, we hardly got out of the car but got to drive literally around the entire island, ending back at the hotel at night. I think that whole day, we stepped out of the car only a few times, mostly to eat and get gas. But I think somewhere near Savanna-La-Mar, we drove through a stretch of road that was also very inviting just like the road through the mountains earlier that day. This one was at sea level but on both sides were bamboos that arched over the road like a tunnel. The bamboos were beautiful and the whole effect was just charming.

It was late when we got back. And the poor Man was exhausted from driving all day through the very challenging terrains. So while the three of us went down to the pool (actually two of them to the pool while I worked on the threadmill covering over 3 miles), he laid his head down and we found him snoring when we got back.

The next day was a much different story. So more to come...

Worry

It has been a day of very confused and mixed feelings. Overall, so far, not a good day. Laundry done, and the bad news start rolling in. The half man is feverish, complaining of being cold on a warm day and a phone call from Singapore tells me the girl had a seizure and is lying in hospital. Test results seem positive - maybe just a one off affair unlikely to be a precusor of long term condition fortunately. Still, it is worrisome and I am so apologetic too for the fright it must have given everyone there. Get well soon and don't stress out so much. Constant self imposed stress, chronic lack of sleep and hours in front of the laptop can bring on serious medical problems.

And the half man did not know how to take care of himself. Instead of cooling off, he was all wrapped up in layers, heater on and shivering despite it all. Basin of cold water made colder with chunks of ice, wet towel with pieces of ice tucked between the folds, numerous glasses of water later, the fever is receding but he is still shivering. So with orders to sleep and another glass of water on standby, he is resting.

If the fever does not go away, I don't know how we are going to clear immigration in Canada and Jamaica when we leave tomorrow for the long awaited holiday. I am fairly certain it will. The fever was not that high and he had not been drinking enough water - you can tell from the chapped and red lips and the hot breath.

And we have not even packed.

Respect

Over the years, familiarity has bred more and more contempt. How sad when those closest are also the ones who are the most likely to treat you with bad manners. In the sanctity of home because it is safe to treat people bad without stirring up surprise with outsiders. When shouting and yelling in response to a question is the norm rather than the exception; when it is better to ignore a question than to reply just because one can. It smacks of disrespect that no amount of make up kissing and hugging can wholly erase.

Can we not treat each other with genteel affection and warmth? Answer questions even if inconvenient instead of walking away or worse? To make the other party hurt because one is not in a good mood?

Who will we always fall back on when we need solace and succor? When we need to cuddle because after all we are human and family is the ultimate sanctum.

Relaxing Read

Wah, my calfs are sore. Three consecutive days of walking 16 to 17 laps, half of them backwards, are making their effects known. But I feel good. That's more than 10,000 steps a day. Wish I can do it everyday but that's unlikely. Although with the long daylight hours now, I should probably try to squeeze in at least half an hour each day. I prefer to walk on a race track than on a trail because I can better count my distance that way. And safely walk backwards. The weather here is simply superb for walking.

My new walking shoes arrived several days ago and they are already dusty and slightly rust red from the dirt track at Central Park used by Iron Horse kids for their PE. Reminds me of how the tennis players' shoes and socks look like from playing at clay courts in the recent grand slams.

This weekend has been relaxing. I have intentionally not worked on Friday, my day off except for an occasional Blackberry email. Need to free up my mind a bit so next week I can focus on the rest of the year. I want to revisit my love of reading and books. Since getting into IT, I have been reading less and less. Somehow, the fast pace of IT has invaded my senses and I lost the ability to just lay back and finish a good book. The mind refuses to stay still and the attention span has been gradually becoming shorter and shorter. I have lost the patience to complete even a chapter without the mind wandering off. And the telly too has been a bane. It aggravated the attention deficit. I am beginning to feel the loss. So now, I have started reading Mean Genes (from Nic who insisted I must read it to the end) and found myself regaining the joy of just holding a book in my hands, shutting out the world and letting the words come to life.

The Kindle 2 should help. As should the end of the television season. Watching replays of my favorite TV shows just does not appeal.

Love

Thank you for the wisdom and the counsel. I hear and I know deep in my heart, it is all true and more. May this day be the birth of a new me and a new relationship.

Brynn

But wait. Need to remind the one just arrived in Singapore to enjoy herself but also to be respectful of house rules and show good breeding. Work hard at the jobs that Uncle Damien has gone to a lot of trouble to plan out for you, show the best side of yourself and don't forget to call on your grandma and godma and the other aunties and uncles, distant though they may be from a intimacy perspective. We want to show them our kids are brought up well.

Twists & Turns

It is befuddling and it is aggravating. When miscommunication and an unintended series of blunders lead to tears and angry stomping and you stress out because it was all so stupid. All of us needs to learn how to communicate better and pay more attention to details. Be explicit about what one means and exercise common courtesy - like keeping to time, not expecting people to read one's mind or actions, explaining intentions clearly with no need for someone to second guess those intentions. And keeping one's cell always handy always charged up because it is very frustrating to call and call and call and get no response.

Sad and totally un-nerving.

And not helping to reduce the carbon footprint when one ends up cruising up and down San Ramon roads looking intently for a familiar figure probably weeping all the way home. At the risk of not paying attention to other drivers and people on the roads. Worrying about the worst and praying for the best.

Trials and tribulations of raising a brood. The journey back to UCB was heavy with unspoken remorse and regret.

On the lighter side, a box just arrived! And the Man asked me what I bought and I said sunscreen. But then again, I knew the sunscreen was out of stock and on back order so second guess, it must be the Half Man because the box says Amazon.com.

Wrong on all counts!

Thank you, Uncle Damien and Auntie Siew Mun and Ethan and Elliot. It was totally unexpected and a most wonderful surprise. A Kindle 2!!! And with a beautiful Cole Haan leather cover. I would never in a million years have bought one for myself because I could never in a million years find the will to get one. I don't ever bother with my own birthdays. But my siblings always remember and won't let me forget. So thank you thank you thank you.

More to come. I gotta play with my Kindle 2 first and get ready for my dental appointment.