Contemplation

Labor Day weekend. Would have been longer except I did not take my AWS. Played some hard tennis at Rohnert Park and that was good. Watched too much of Dexter and still watching. I am torn, in two minds, maybe a little schizophrenic. Decter is intriguing but probably something kids should not watch. Maybe it is in the values we imbibe in them. That would help them decide right from wrong, black from white, moral from immoral. Not shielding them but building slowly over time the ballast that would upright them and keep them upright. Maybe I am just rationalizing for my failures. To censure or not to censure.

Tomorrow, I am off to Wyoming. Glad yet apprehensive. Taking time off to spend with my mentoring group when there is much to do in the office. The dilemma of which part of you to listen to, your heart or your mind. Why oh why are they always not aligned? Not one with the other.

I am always a little caught by surprise. Fall is almost here but did winter not just passed? Did the cherry blossoms not just bloomed outside our door? What happened to the long lazy lethargic days of summer? With each passing day, I worry more and more. Are our days here drawing to a close? Will we be allowed to stay longer or stay on? When should I act? Ask for the status change? Lose the extras that help pay for the expenses? Who can tell me? Show me the way. Why is life always full of crossroads and turning points that have no signposts to give you some help, some hints of what lies ahead with each fork in the roads of life? So many questions so little light to show the way.

Soon. Soon I have a make a decision. Time and age are both working against me.