Miscellaneous

The house is empty and quiet except for the hum of the washer and the click clack of clothes knocking around in the dryer. They have all gone out leaving me here with the wash and the comp.

And the camcorder is here. Had to go collect it from UPS because twice they delivered and twice no one was there to sign for it. It does look nice - black and the resolution is awesome. Still I can't help feeling bad about spending the money and can't shake off the feeling I have been had by the online store. It was way more than I had expected or wanted to spend. With 3 kids in or going to college, it is more important than ever to watch where the M goes.

This month has been an expensive one. What with the cam and the two girls asking for MacPro. And Nic's grad night coming up. I did not have time to gather up the 25 or so photos they wanted to put up a hige montage for all the graduating classes. Nic may feel left out and I blame myself for not having done it. But they gave only a day's notice and I had to work. How how how? I feel like a very bad parent. Maybe I should call and ask if it was still possible to add Nic's photos. But I am also reluctant to give them the photos - what if they never come back? My family would lose our memories cos we don't have spares. Wish I have had time to digitise all of them but between 12 to 16 hour work days and housework and feeble attempts to get some exercises on weekends, there is not much spare time.

Oftentimes, it seems I cannot really talk to my kids (some of them anyway) anymore. Everytime they ask for something and I say something, my words are construed as criticism and negative vibes. Truth is, I am just offering counterpoints and viewpoints and these are my hands that are wearing down from keeping us going. They think they know better but it hurts...

But enough with the negativity. Spring is just around the corner, the trees are getting dressed to the hilt with pink and white cherry blossoms, the rose plant in our postage stamp backyard is starting to sprout new leaves so buds are expected soon and the weather is warming up ever so nicely. My kids are growing up fast and life is beckoning them. The half man is almost as tall as I am now and full of quick verbal repartee to the point of being rather annoying. Soon, Nic will know which college she will be off to and we will have to start preparing. I hope it will not be too difficult or expensive to find accommodations for her, preferably on campus so she gets a chance to taste college life as it should be. My baby is almost all grown up. She was the cutest of my girls, the one with the blackest hair that fat ah-ma used to boast about - sometimes I steal some looks at her and wonder where the years had gone. She was the chubbiest and cheeriest with the most infectious grins and would sing to the radio along with her protective big sister Bean when I drove them to child care at YWCA in Jurong each morning. And Miss Toh would stand at the back door waiting for us to show up, waiting for the little one she favored above all others...

Maybe later today, the kids and I can go for a walk and learn to use our new camcorder.