Rambling

Due to this being a rainy day, I did not follow the Man and a Half to Amador Valley. The boy still has Chinese and chess classes of course, but there will be no tennis and it is saner to stay home with the teen so we can spend some girl time together. I hope she will go with me to pick up some household essentials. I can't carry them all by myself. But more importantly, I just want to have her with me. Too soon, she will be packed and gone off to college and out of sight for months on end. Sob.

I still have not put in an application to stay on here. What if the company pulls the plug on me and sends us home before we are ready? It would jeopardize the teen's college status here as a resident and I don't think she would fit in NUS. And it will be a real financial stretch to have her stay on here as a foreign student what with two others also in college or planning to re-enter. I don't think it will happen quite so soon - I am holding down two persons' jobs, doing what used to be done by two persons (my predecessor and my ex-supervisor) so in a sense the company's getting its money's worth. I have not been actively looking for another position either. Should probably start soon but there is still so much to do to complete a critical project and stabilize the team even more. I came in to a shell shocked team and though it has been really tough with some, the rest seems to understand my drivers and a few have even asked me to bring them along if I go to another job. Gratifying in a way but of course, that's not how things are done.

I am watching the news and the telecast is about California students in middle school not doing so well in core subjects like reading and math. And seniors not being able to pass the exit exams so they could graduate from high school. Sad. And the governor is cutting school funding massively because the state has a budget crisis. Every school will have less money next year so I think parents are going to be asked to fork out more. One of the culture shocks here has been how much money parents are asked to donate at the beginning of the school year. It amounts to quite a few hundred a child. But this is not a US thing. Other states don't do this. Good thing parents here in Bay Area are by and large financially stable and very active with school participation so they willingly help out.

The teen has done all her exit exams but the school kept calling to ask her to take the Math exam one more time just as a precaution. Because if she for some reason, messes up the last one, there will be no more opportunity to retake without jeopardising her graduation date. She has come around to the idea, I am glad to say. The school is right to be cautious but it takes effort to convince the kids.

And here's wishing Uncle Joshua a very happy birthday. May he have very very many more.

I wonder when we will meet up the family again. Lately, I have been remembering with a lot of nostalgia the food, sights and smells of the little red dot. Some weeks ago, there was a show on happiness and which countries came out in a survey about being the happiest countries in the world. Denmark came out tops and Singapore, surprisingly was not too far behind and was featured - as a rich country with extremely strict laws on just about everything yet the citizens seem to be doing relatively well because the focus is on the 5C's so they tolerate even appreciate the strictness as long as they can go about making money. The show even talked about the infamous caning and how it is done and why it helped keep law and order. An American show seemingly condoning this!? I don't know. The show is somewhat facetious and grosses over things. Oh well, that's entertainment.

Homey

Another storm is about to hit the Bay Area. Nothing like what broke on Jan 4 but likely there will be no tennis again tomorrow at Amador Valley. Sigh. Today is kind of gray but the bright side of this is we are all at home. Rare. So I am enjoying it even if the morning was a little aggravating. Rain is good. California has been parched for too long. Plus all this moisture can only mean it will be beautiful with wild flowers in Death Valley. I can't wait...

Cool Cam

Wah, I dun it. I finally dun it. After googling and drooling for months and checking out ebay incessantly and doing countless mental calculations and and and... I almost went for a model that was new just when I first started bargain hunting on the web and has with unreasonable speed been overtaken by not one, not two but 4 generations all within the space of a few months. The speed of change is scary.

So what you ask, am I talking about? The one who would not buy badly needed shoes or office clothes has just gone and got the family a camcorder - the Sony HDR-SR12 with 120GB hard disk and high def video and 3" screen and and and... It happened so fast I am still shocked. All to capture the legendary flowers and scenery of Death Valley.

I am still shaky...

Storms and Swings

This year looks like it's going to be a down cycle for me. Things seem to be sliding downhill at an alarming rate. It's a little out of control and I am in a spin, whirling around drunkenly trying to keep some semblance of sanity. It is deja vu. Back to the bad ol' days of 1997 to 1998 when there were an overwhelming workload and a great period for learning but it was hell breaking loose on work and domestic fronts. When "small men" in your professional life tried to bring you down despite you working your ass off and all manners of worries on the home front beat down your spirit - maids playing games and running away and school teachers hauling you up for lectures and counseling because your offsprings with hormonal imbalance during those tumultous years decided to test every boundary imposed by societal norms.

I have lived through those cycles before and came out mostly unscathed. To misparaphrase some old English screenplay writer of yore, I was made of sterner stuff. But this time, the circumstances are more precarious. I am in a foreign land with a crew of foreign make in a culture not so familiar and in a much stricter clime. Dear God, please let me live through this year whole.

But there are always some bright spots. I was in Sugarland most of this week and just after checking into the hotel, had the most awesome Cajun style crayfish with a very chatty colleague. I have to thank her - on my own, I probably would have just unpacked my bags and call for room service, keeping my solitude till the meeting kickoff two hours later. The introvert was drawn out by the extrovert and did not regret it. I have serious doubts about the wisdom of volunteering for this program in the midst of all that turmoil on the office front but it was hard to pass up the chance and my guts tell me this opportunity would not come knocking again.

But it was a very exhausting week. The meetings were long and intense and I had to keep up with things in the office. Each day was an 18-hour workday, working late into the night to keep the wheels rolling. By Thursday, I could feel the onset of a migraine but miraculously, it was held abay. I could feel the tiredness in every brain cell and all the muscles. So the tennis on Friday afternoon with the Man and a Half after reaching home was a godsend. To my amazement and amusement, n the days that I have been away, the half man has picked up some good tennis swings. He can actually return the balls now, albeit with the Man feeding him. Still they were able to rally for a good 20 mins or more without a break. And his swings are much stronger and more graceful that just a week ago. Me thinks my baby is growing up fast. The muscle strength and coordination are beginning to show. By this time next year, I would be looking up into his eyes, not down.

New Nian

Chinese New Year is just days away and I feel nothing. Not even any drive to get new clothes for the kids for the New Year. I feel some remorse but there is just a lot of stress from the workplace - not stress from the volume of work though it is a lot but stress from, well, people stuff. Who was it who said, the hardest part of management was the people? Oh well.

Still, we should get some decorations or traditional goodies. Ranch 99 has stocked on traditional goodies but nothing like what we get in Singapore. Nothing like NTUC Fairprice. Chinatown in San Francisco and Oakland should be better stocked but there is little incentive to go there. Hanging some deco's up may lift the mood a bit but the house is always so fxxxxing cold, we all end up just huddled in the room with the small portable heater on all day, staring at the goggle box or surfing. Except the restless teen who finds every opportunity to skip out or sneak her friends into her room where they "hang out" for hours, sometimes into the wee hours. Positively un-Asian because "nan nǚ soh soh bu qin."

But there is something to look forward to. Chinese New Year dinner with the usual suspects at Nik's place. Looking forward to it very much. Some socialization is good for the soul.