Christmas Cheers

I am so glad we moved to this neighbourhood. The place is much quieter, affords us more privacy yet without the isolation we felt in the old place. If I may be so bold, it feels less like "nouveau riche" and more like "old wealth" though of course, this is far from being an area of the rich and famous. It is decidedly middle class. The houses are not so hemmed in and there seems to be more room to breathe.

And the Christmas lightings here is wondrous. The community takes a great deal of pride in its surrounds and the families have a friendly competition on the best decorated home. Some of the decorations and lights are wonderful to behold. You can tell it took a lot of work and the expenses definitely not trivial. I can't wait to see the looks on the kids' faces when they arrive. Ethan and Elliott first. They will be here tomorrow. Yeah!

And yesterday, to our great delight, as we were coming home in the afternoon from the half man's piano recital, we saw bags of white all lined up neatly along all the roads in the neighbourhood, up and down. Just hundred of them, maybe even thousands. Except at the road junctions - here the bags were more christmasy, red and white with christmas tree designs. A truck and an SUV driven by moms and dads with teens in the back were happily driving slowly up and down, placing the bags along the sidewalks. I could not resist and took a peep. In each bag, sand and a candle.

The Lai's picked us up at 4:15 and we were off to spend a very fun night at CJ and Tommy's humongous home in Tracy. It was one of their monthly home team gathering and this one was special because it was also to celebrate Christmas together. The house was new and huge - over 5,000 sq ft built-in and with a very large land lot. Just a beautiful home. CJ and Tommy were very good hosts. We made new friends - John and Jeannie and their two boys - and Elvin and Eve were there with their two girls as well. The company was delightful, the discourse full of self deprecating good fun and the food very good. It was altogether a very enjoyable night.

And to end on a high note what had turned out to be just a day of surprises, as we turned the corner into our corner of San Ramon, all the hundreds, maybe thousands of bags were lighted up. Someone or someones had taken the trouble to stand every candle up in the bed of sand in each bag and lighted it. The spirit of Christmas was truly in the air. I have never experienced Christmas as it has been celebrated in this community. The Lai's were suitably amazed and drove us up and down to admire all the Christmas lightings.

As I said, I am so glad we moved.

Soon

In a matter of days, this house will be full of people. There will be the pitter patter of feet, chatter, laughter, arguments, beddings and food everywhere, all the vital signs life and living. Wow. It has been a long time since we have so many folks under our roof. It will be crowded. Driving out the chill of winter and breathing warmth. We won't need to turn the heater up so high - the qi of so many in a confined space will be sufficient to rob winter of its cold within these four walls.

Then long drive south. Snow and trips and falls on slippery slopes. Long drive back. Hanging around. Trips to the city. Golden Gate Bridge. Etc.

A few more days.

Winter concert at middle school is over - reminded me of the first time when BYY was here with Wen Hui and they were both snoozing away from jet lag. Tomorrow is the boy's recital. Then a trip to Tracy with the Lai's to meet some Malaysian friends. I messed up. Accepting dinner at the Tan's when I had accepted the trip to Tracy long ago. As LK said, "torn between two lovers". She's funny. I really really like our friends here. Could have ask for better friends so far from home. We will spend new year's eve at the Tan's. UJ and F will find them fun.

Trips

Here we are just two and a half weeks from Christmas. The siblings plus will soon be here. Siblings plus some others. And in ten days we head off south again, reliving the same road trip we took just a couple of weeks ago. But not quite as far as Palm Desert. Plam Desert was pretty relaxing despite driving 1,000 miles just to spend one weekend. The weather was perfect. The timeshare talk was tolerable - much less preesure than what we experienced in Bali, in exchange for spending a fraction of what we would have spent otherwise. But then again, we probably would never have made it ever to Palm Springs - not high on places to see before I die kind of list. Given that it was just before Thanksgiving, we got lucky to be able to book a room. The man and a half got to play a round of golf and the man played a second round at the course that boasts a long list of celebrities from Bob Hope to Bill Clinton. That corridor leading to the golf shop was like a walk of the rich and famous. Overall, I can't complain.

And soon, maybe, hopefully, the man and I get to see Tiger Woods, Vijay Singh, and the other regulars on the golf channel. Gotta get me an autograph book and hide it in my volunteer shirt for some surreptitous requests. 3 days of rubbing elbows with the household names of the golfing world.

But before that, a huge family reunion at our humble abode. It will be noisy, crowded and wonderful. Can't wait. We bought some lights and stuff. To decorate a bit - this new neighborhood is BIG on Christmas decorations. For crying out loud, there is even a neoghborhood Christmas lightings competition, a much smaller version of the one we used to have at Orchard Road.

Then from watching the golfing greats to freezing cold as we rejoin the family at Big Bear. Hope there will be snow, lots of snow.

Dreadful Destruction

The afternoon nap did a world of good. Now at least my mind is not clouded.

Had a very enjoyable sashimi dinner with the Lai's last night. Yumm. Followed by coffee and chit chat at their home. Very nice.

This will be a relatively short week. We set off for Southern California on Friday and expect to be back mid-week. Then it is Thanksgiving and another gathering at the Tan's. I love those gatherings, among friends whose generosity I truly appreciate and am very thankful for. They always make us feel at home in this land where we have no kin. Actually, one recently returned but too far away for regular gat togethers.

Work is relatively smooth going right now although still heavy. But the end of the year is drawing nigh and already you can anticipate the slowing down as folks prepare for the holiday seasons. Beginning this week with Thanksgiving. But the state of the economy and rising rates of layoffs, bankruptcy and foreclosures is making this year's festivities somewhat sombre. Retailers are either closing down, going into Chapter 11 or reporting large drops in sales. And wild fires are raging in Southern California near LA. Santa Barbara has already seen over eigth hundred multi-millionaire dollar homes gone up in smoke. The dreaded Southern California Santa Ana wind just creates havoc every year in tinder dry Southern California.

It is heart-breaking to see the beautiful homes in Montecito burn away on television. Dream homes turned to charred wood and ashes. The shells of cars still in the garage. And here I am trying to decide if I should buy one in preparation for the long term. And dreading havng to deplete hard earned resources.

Wonder how we will find Palm Springs. I suspect we may pass close to some of the areas being ravaged by those wild fires.

Alone

The house is quiet and cold. The guys left for tennis while I was scrubbing the boy's very dirty bathroom. More than a month into staying here, I still find pockets of dirt left over from the past. The landlady sure left behind more than I bargained for. Cleared out almost a whole vauum load of dirt from all the carpets except the shaggy one we brought over from Singapore. That one requires super human energy to vacuum - I sweat everytime I have to do it.

My neck and shoulders have been hurting for well over a month. They feel very tensed and I can feel the knots all up and down. Stretching every day does not seem to help. May have to see a therapist. The office furniture is not very good and I have felt the onset of the strains since moving over a few months ago.

Galveston was intense. But I did not get a chance to even step out of the hotel. From 7 am to 9 pm, it was packed full of presentations and learning group activities. The only glimpses I had of the city was of the sea from my hotel room window and as we were driving into and then out of the city. The section we were in showed some damage from Hurricane Ike but I am sure we missed the major areas where devastation was greater. Unlike New Orleans when we last visited on the way to the offshore platform. New Orleans has definitely not recovered completely from Katrina. Sections of the city were still very damaged and people had not really returned to reclaim their homes. Some may never return. For a sinking city subject to annual lashings from mother nature, I can understand why. The city has its charms but I could not envision myself having to repair damages year after year from water. Galveston, on the other hand, seems to be recovering.

I have a lot of work - a week away when so many things are happening in the office is never an easy thing. Will have to start catching up but for now, I just don't seem to have the drive. Maybe later. Maybe tomorrow.

To the young ones in our families, the world is changing in many ways and all of you live in very exciting times. Are you prepared for the challenges and to leverage the opportunities that are opening up for all of you?



Enjoy but be prepared.

Historical

Here I am in Galveston with my learning group. Watching the group put together their final presentation after 10 months of adventures and learning about the company, technologies and the pervasiveness of technology in every aspect of the business. It has been extremely interesting working with this bunch of talented, energetic and highly skilled people. And Fellows who cared and nurtured and guided.

Tomorrow is the final day. Then we disband, going back to our respective jobs and lives. Maybe there will be reunions when we come together again momentarily to share memories and update. My second learning group and much better this time round cos I missed so much of the first when I was a mentee, not a mentor.

It is also a little weird in a sense. We seem to be little affected by the events of the night before. When the US of A experienced a momentous moment. America has elected its 44th President and some 40-odd years after Martin Luther King gave his life to bring civil rights changes to the country, America has its first African American President. Watching the tv broadcasts last night, late into the night, away from my family, all by myself in a quiet town that was recently ravaged by a hurricane. It all seems a little unreal. I talked to the 3/4 man on the phone and he was getting ready to take a bath just as the election results were coming in from the west coast. Little inconsequential events amidst the unfolding of an inflexion in the history of our adopted country.

We have had no opportunity to see the city. To see how much of a damage the hurricane had wrought. This hotel has been our haven and our prison.

The presentation is looking good. Soon we will be retreating to our rooms to recover from the intense activities of the day. To prepare for the final hurrah. And to go our separate ways day after. I am content.

Tired

The rain has finally arrived. To a very thirsty and parched California. Feels good. To stay home on a nice cool wet day. Except we had to go get a headphone with mic for the 3/4 man all because his big sister said she could barely hear us over the computer. Blew a $40 hole in my pocket. But it was partly to reward him for cleaning up his room. Why do kids get paid for doing what they should be doing anyway? As a matter of routine. As part of life. I had to do a lot of housework as a kid. And never got paid for any of it. The obverse was painful. It was negative reinforcement replaced by spoilage.

So tomorrow, it's off to Houston and then to Galveston. Actually, it feels burdensome. Much rather stay home and just rest. I have a lot of leave untaken. Not sure what to do. They are likely to be forfeited. So many things happening I just cannot see myself taking leave. Except for Thanksgiving week. Most people will be away then and the one project now in full swing will take a break. And we have to go to Palm Springs. Maybe swing by Mexico? Not sure. I have not had time to planned anything. Sigh.

It is late. Gotta get to bed. Tonight daylight savings ends and the 3/4 man adjusted the clock at about 7:30 pm so we won't forget so although the clock says it is not bedtime, the truth is something else. And I have laundry sitting... waiting... Gotta go.

Staying

Crabs for lunch. That's the treat when the girl comes home. I guess absence does make the heart grows fonder. And we had very good tim sum yesterday in Oakland, courtesy of an old golf kaki from Singapore, here with daughter and wife to look into the possibility of migrating for the sake of the kid. She's sweet, vrey pleasant smile. Just finished her PSLE. The 3/4 man was supposed to acquaint her with what schooling is like in the old US of A but being who he is, he hardly spoke a word. Oh well. Someday, he's learn to socialize. He's already better - actually heard him said "thank you, sir" to a stranger who was helpful. Picking up some American mannerism no less.

In three weeks, it will be thanksgiving and we should be heading south to Palm Springs. Hope the weather will be kind and the man and 3/4 can play some golf. Maybe we can cruise around and pop into Mexico for a look-see. I have not been able to plan anything. Work is really picking up as the processes I put in place start to kick in and Downstream is finally getting traction in the SharePoint space. It's taken me a few months but it was gratifying when on Friday, a consultant on the project team came a knocking to tell me that of all the business reps, I was the most constructive and the project team felt I had made a difference. I could tell when the project head, my former boss, asked me to help with a workshop to engage all the business reps. Me who has the least amount of experience in this whole project because I am still the new kid in the game when the others have been around some couple of years.

I hope we can get the permanent residency thing going. Gotta ask what's happening...

Adieu

The economic crisis in America is getting a little closer to home. So Mervyn's is closing down and today on the way home from tennis and Chinese class, we drop in the store in Dublin to get the three-quarter man a pair of black pants for his school jazz band. The one we bought barely 2 years ago now hangs awkwardly above his ankle and at the last concert in Spring before the end of school, he looked like a trishaw rider from gu chia cui (buffalo cart water). It was ludricrous, and pitiable, like a child from a destitute family. And just about everything in the store was on sale, we also picked up some costume jewelry for moi and some jeans for the man. And Mr Sticky to remove lint and other yakky stuff off coats and fleece jackets. Not all things were that much of a deal - you need to pick your deals. I think you get better discounts just after Thanksgiving and Christmas just about everywhere.

After 60 years as an East Bay icon, Mervyn's has fallen victim, probably never to rise again.

I am starting to really miss my girls. Nic hasn't been home for the last 2 weeks and Carynn's sly smiles and winning ways with her dad haunt me. There is a hole that even keeping busy with work cannot fill. What would it be like when the 3/4 man also leaves.? I don't want to think about it.

The leaves on the trees are starting to turn flaming red. While fall is beautiful with sunny afternoons and wonderful temperatures, you know at the back of your mind that winter is just around the corner. Sometimes, the cold actually feels refreshing but I dread the moments of dragging yourself out from the nice warm beds to face the cold of the bathroom. But there's always Spring to look forward to.

You can see from this blog that there is really nothing much happening lately. So adieu. Maybe next week, I will pick myself up to take some pics of the new neighborhood and post them. And clean out the garage some before winter descends.

Home2

The financial world is in turmoil and it is interesting to watch the news channel switch every so often between reporting on the Presidential election now just weeks away and the inability of the US government to stop the precipitous fall of Wall Street and the multiplier effect on the world's stock markets. The implications of the bank failures are more than just the housing bust, aka sub-prime housing crisis. Unless faith and liquidity in the financial market can be restored and soon, this could have ramifications on the whole credit industry when banks become ultra conservative as each restricts lines of credits to other banks and to end customers in an effort to protect its own financial health. If we all cannot get credit to run our small businesses, buy a car, a house, anything, the multiplier effect can lead to a downward spiral on just about every sector of the economy. If the US consumer cannot consume, the who would buy the goods from Asia? And so on and so forth. Consumption makes up a much larger percentage of the US GNP than for most other countries and the any contraction in US consumption will ripple through the world economy. Let's hope this doomsday scenario remains just that, a scenario. That it does not materialize. That the US government and other governments have enough sense to do something quick to prevent another great depression.

That's the grim picture.

But in suburbia, it has not really percolated down yet. Yes, you hear of foreclosures and fall in housing prices. Yet they are still seem out of reach for folks like us. Unless we are willing to move tens of miles away and put up with hour or more long commutes. I just heard on the evening news that Stockton is the foreclosure capital of the world with 1 in every 25 houses under foreclosure. But for people here, Stockton is almost a world away.

Well, let's hope all good things come to those who wait. And that time won't run out on us.

On a lighter note, we have cleaned up this house pretty well. It is a pity that it has not been taken care of as well as it should be. A house just two blocks away is going for $800K. Still way out of our league. The Man and I have scrubbed and wiped and scrubbed and wiped till the dust have mostly disappeared and even the heavily stained brass fittings of the wash basins now actually look like brass instead of some black rings and plates. Pity. Now the house is getting more comfortable because it is feels and look cleaner.

But there is so much more space than the previous house, it echoes because we have so little furniture. So today after tennis, we drop by Macy's furniture store on the way back and got ourselves a guess what? Natuzzi sofa that looks like the one we left behind in Singapore. So this is really going to feel like home :).

Home

Yes, we have moved and are almost all settled in. I say almost because there is that onerous task of unpacking the seemingly endless number of boxes and then stuffing them away using some unfathomable algorithm that only the sub-conscious is aware of. I have this horrible fear that we will repeat this chore all over again in exactly a year from now.

I like this house so much better than the last. It actually feels like home. The other one was just a place to hang out and get some sleep. This home feels like Li Hwan. The Man has even put all the pictures up. The ones that were all boxed up and laying in wait for the past two years in that store-room under the stairs. Now they are out for all to enjoy and to cheer us up. It feels like Li Hwan.

This is the one week anniversary of the move. Feels like yesterday.

Tomorrow, the Singaporeans (mostly) are getting together again, this time at the Lai's for another round of gorging. Can't wait. Not so much for the food. For the camaraderie and the companionship. The chance to crack senseless Singapore jokes and remember days of yore.

Fall is here and already the leaves are turning flaming red. You can feel the cold slowly creeping in and the nights growing longer. Fall has its charms too. The trees will be beautiful.

Can't wait for the family to come. It has been so long...

City & Crissy

Back from the City. Spent a whole day in the Exploratorium, well almost the whole day. Pretty interesting but for me there was just too much information to absorb and with my poor eyesight, too many things to read to explore and to do. So I got tired but the Man the Three Quarter Man and the Young Woman had energy to spare for all 4 of us. Very much like Science Center but older, more hands on, people are encouraged to touch, to feel, to test for themselves. Then to Crissy Field area for the already ended kite festival but there were still quite a few families with their colorful kites. Our $15 kite first got caught in the roof of the one and only food stand and had to be rescued by the owner of the kite stand and then became off balance and kept crashing into the field. So after some rough surgery by the Man, the father and son team kept trying to keep the darn thing in the air while the mother and daughter team admitted defeat to the persistent cold wind blowing in from the Bay and retreated to the shelter of the car to watch the male team teased the unwilling kite.

Finally dinner at the same old same old Penang Garden in Chinatown where we waited half an hour for a table and I got really pissed with a stupid waitress who came out of the blue and let a family in ahead of us.

Move

We are moving in a week. At long last. I hope the new house will have better chi and better feng shui for us. This house has not really brought us much joy or comfort. It is freaking cold in winter and stuffy in summer. There is no real place to sit down and have a conversation and all we really ever use is our bedroom. One week. Yeah!

Birthdays

Happy Birthday Nic and Carynn. With tons of love from your papa and mama.

Celebrations

Morning. You can feel the weather getting cooler. Dying days of summer.

It's the mooncake festival today but we celebrated it at the Tan's place yesterday with the usual suspects. And there was a distinct split along the gender line with the men gathered in one place and the ladies in another, each group to its own topics of interest. Like water cooler talks but domestic. So schools, kids, food and where to get the best pastries and mooncakes for us. Pretty obvious that I was mostly clueless about the groceries and food topics but it was fun listening to them. And there is a strong similarity to Chinese communities everywhere when it comes to food - the long queues, the tidak apa attitude of the family owned shops when customers clamor for their produce. Almost like home.

All the while consuming copious amounts of pot luck food and sampling small pieces of different varieties of mooncake and sipping Chinese tea. Nik is a very gracious hostess and Keng is a very gracious host. Always good company.

Today is Number 1's Chinese birthday. Tomorrow is Number 3's Gregorian calendar birthday. Who's up for celebrating again?

Alone

Home alone. How rare is that? It's the Saturday tennis with the boys (and lone girl) but I opted out. Knee still stings quite a bit from the twist last Sunday at Amador Valley. Plus a mountain-load of guilt about all the work before me which alas lethargy is keeping me from starting. I have butterflies in that place. The guilt is heavy, oh so heavy.

I reflect on the past 3 months and what exactly have I accomplish in my new role. Bare bones. Next to nothing. Well, not nothing. Somethings. But not enough in my own assessment. I have to pick up pace. Time for excuses is over. Get that plan out, that presentation started, appointments for snaking made. Where is that passion for execution when I need it most?

The time for moving is also almost upon us and the Man has been very good about it. I see boxes, tapes, things slowly being put away. Thank you! I have too many weights on my shoulder right now. Frankly, I am scared. I don't feel like I am getting traction. I have a sneaky feeling if I were to do a 360, it would look full of holes.

Something else is nagging too. The girl is going back to a little red dot and I am already missing her. Strange. She is right here but I can feel a hole growing. Like a string is being cut and tearing out a part of me.

Gotta get started. So adieu for now.

Busy

Back from an interesting trip to Salt Lake City in Utah and Evanston in Wyoming. Saw the very impressive main church which took 40 years to build, the main office building, and the Family History Library building and the very clean very neat and very well kept grounds of the Mormon church or Church of the Latter Day Saints. We wandered through around Temple Square, were treated to some demonstration of the incredible accoustics of the Temple Tabernacle. You could hear every whisper, every pin drop and every paper tear of the pulpit or podium (not sure what you would call it). And the incredible organ. Things we only see in movies. And across the road from the Temple Square, the huge LDS Conference Center that is built to be columnless and can seat an audience of 21,000, everyone of whom would have an unobstructed sight of the podium. Every modern convention amenity has been built in. And again, an incredible organ with a keyboard that can actually be moved around the stage. We were given a guided tour of the conference center - the roof itself is so huge, it covers many acres of space. We were a little apprehensive about being preached to and asked to convert but that did not happen. All the followers of the church who were on duty (likely all volunteers) were extremely courteous and hospitable. But we did manage to learn a little about Joseph Smith and a little of the history of the Mormons. I must say, despite all the misgivings most folks have of the church, they are an impressive lot.

This within a half hour of arriving at the city. A bunch of us just dumped our bags and took a walk to enjoy what was perfect weather. Before heading to a very good dinner at an interesting underground restaurant.

The next day was off to learn about sour gas operations. And the next day to learn about open pit coal mining operations. As usual with my learning group, back to back activities that left little room for anything else. Exhausting schedules but as always, very interesting and with loads of good camaraderie, both within the group and with our hosts. This trip was better in a sense that members from the two different operations actually folllowed us on our tours and collaborated. We felt like we were catalysts that brought two singular groups into better communication and exchange with each other.

Morning of the last day - another incredibly perfect weather day - was at a refinery very close to the SLC airport. So we managed to pack three different parts of the company and three very different types of operations into a single trip. Well done!

Came home from perfect weather to the most incredible heat wave that has lasted all weekend. And the trip back from SFO on the Bart was one of misadventure. Stalled trains and bad annoucements of train destinations amidst 100+ degree weather with luggage and comp bag to wit. What an anti-climax.

Contemplation

Labor Day weekend. Would have been longer except I did not take my AWS. Played some hard tennis at Rohnert Park and that was good. Watched too much of Dexter and still watching. I am torn, in two minds, maybe a little schizophrenic. Decter is intriguing but probably something kids should not watch. Maybe it is in the values we imbibe in them. That would help them decide right from wrong, black from white, moral from immoral. Not shielding them but building slowly over time the ballast that would upright them and keep them upright. Maybe I am just rationalizing for my failures. To censure or not to censure.

Tomorrow, I am off to Wyoming. Glad yet apprehensive. Taking time off to spend with my mentoring group when there is much to do in the office. The dilemma of which part of you to listen to, your heart or your mind. Why oh why are they always not aligned? Not one with the other.

I am always a little caught by surprise. Fall is almost here but did winter not just passed? Did the cherry blossoms not just bloomed outside our door? What happened to the long lazy lethargic days of summer? With each passing day, I worry more and more. Are our days here drawing to a close? Will we be allowed to stay longer or stay on? When should I act? Ask for the status change? Lose the extras that help pay for the expenses? Who can tell me? Show me the way. Why is life always full of crossroads and turning points that have no signposts to give you some help, some hints of what lies ahead with each fork in the roads of life? So many questions so little light to show the way.

Soon. Soon I have a make a decision. Time and age are both working against me.

Foreboding

Change is hard but change is inevitable. Usually I embrace change, thrive on change, actually become more successful because of change. But the change I sense coming has a particularly dark side that has given me a deep sense of foreboding. The results may have a more profound impact than previous waves have left behind.

UCB

My baby has gone off to college. For the first time in a long time, we were a complete family this week. So we set off last night to take family photos on the eve of her sent off. And the pics were wonderful. I love them. My foursome. And this morning after rendevous with Jeni and her parents at the town library, off we set for UC Berkeley to help my girl check into her dorm. It was a bit of hassle finding out where to park so we could unload the boxes of her stuff and where to queue to get her room key and get a trolley but it was not too bad. It was pretty organized once you understand the process and we did not queue for long at any of the different lines. The weather helped - sunny yet cool.

The room was small but comfy for a double. Of course with 10 people crammed into it, it was almost standing room only. It was noon and time for lunch after making the bed. But we were told to go to a parents briefing session and by the time we had everyone together after the talks, it was 5 past 2:00 pm and we missed the free lunch for families. The unimpressive Thai lunch blew an unreasonably big hole in my wallet for the amount we were served. Ouch!

Berkeley. Behomian, jealously protective of its diversity and totally irreverent of "norms" of the larger society. That's where my baby will spend the next four years. I know she will know how to take care of herself, yet the parental strings tug at the heart and you want to hold her near so she will always be safe. You would think after 2 college kids, one would get jaded.

She could not wait to get back to unpack all the boxes. But we held back. Sharing some precious teasing moments at the dining hall, taking advantage of the free bbq dinner for families. But the kids were all nibblers. The girl will be hungry tonite in the dorm. Hopefully the four bananas we took from the dining hall will make up for the lack of bulk in the single bowl of soup she had.

So we are back in the house watching the Olympics men's marathon and I am here blogging about my baby packing off to college.

2

Today is the 2nd anniversary of our arrival in the United States. Oh Yeah!

Beautiful Blue

Yes, we are home. From Crater Lake, Oregon where we had a lot of fun, both from the company and from 3 days of trekking up a very steep trail overlooking the bluest of blue crater lake, fast boating down the Rogue River, white water rafting, and wine and fruits while cheering on the US teams in the Olympics. Altogether a most satisfying holiday. Just before the end of summer for the one going to college next week and for the other preparing to register for school. The kids, all 7 of them, had a really good time and so did the adults.

The drive up was perfectly synchronized with the three cars moving convoy style. It was hot in Medford. Well into the 3 digit F range. Almost too hot to walk.

Day 1 was spent admiring the almost picture perfect pacific Crater Lake. Beautiful, in the deepest blue with the mountains reflecting off its sides and nothing but nothing ruffling its calm water until the one and only boat allowed to traverse its vastness for the admiring throng. Even then, the boat looked so tiny and its long wake was so frail against the smooth face of the water. Only then does one realize just how immense the lake is. And there were butterflies everywhere.

Disappointingly, the one restaurant at the one lodge did not have room for us. To my greatest surprise and delight, the half man had the most awesome stamina, leading the pack up the very steep trail. While the rest of us huffed and puffed up some 2 miles up the narrow ledge, he actually ran up sections and recce'ed the next level to tell us what lied ahead so we were motivated to continue. In the summer heat. I could see the sweat off his forehead and neck but his energy and cheerfulness was most uncharacteristic, most unusual. My boy is growing up fast, almost too fast. The climb was tough but the views of the lake from each level was well worth the climb. More to come...

Beatles Beats

Calgary

Simmering Summer

Lately, high teas seem to be the fashion. But not high tea as we do it in the little red dot with multi-tier munchies on lacy table tops and expensive price tags. Rather home made goodies reminiscent of our far away hometown with ladies under a gazebo-styled garden canopy with nettings alll round to keep out the winged visitors. Ladies savoring bite sized finger food exchanging gossips and openly reveling in each other's company till the late hours of night. Such is the passing of long lazy days of summer. Nice.

Back from Calgary where the weather was perfect and the city unbelievably clean and civil. Not quite what I had expected of a city benefitting greatly from the oil boom. Learnt about the extraction of bitumin from the vast tar sands that can theoretically last for over a hundred years but has obvious environmental impact. Flew to see the Albian tar sands. An unbelievable sight. From the air. And on the ground. Gigantic scoopers on tires more than twice the height of my tall American and Canadian friends. Viewed the crew from 30 feet high standing on the deck of the driver's cabin. Tires that cost upwards or $66,000 a piece and more than twice that on the spot market in a crunch. Vast holes in the earth that dwarfed these huge trucks that dwarfed the people who drive them. Held and felt the tar sands. Griefed over the scarring of the beautiful lands but heard promises of replanting and reclaiming to original conditions. Man's progress and its irretractable dependency on energy. Been reading much on energy and the sources and uses of energy as we know it today and the alternatives to energy as we know it today. Immense. In many aspects. How we address these issues will determine what our children and their children and their children's children will inherit.

Will be off to Central Park in less than an hour to listen to summer concert. Today - Beatles songs. Ahhh... the long lazy days of summer.

Sands Sensation

I am off tomorrow to the tar sands of Calgary. Be interesting. These are the stuffs that is making Canada the Saudi Arabia of North America.

Meandering

Things are looking up a bit on the work front. Don't quite feel so lost now. Making some small inroads and getting people's attention. Slowly foisting myself into teams and meetings so people know to engage me. That's always been my forte - worming myself into events and projects and things going on so I can leverage what others are doing and avoid reinventing. But am having some difficulties connecting with my managers to discuss plans. This job is really not what I envisioned at all. I hope it is my last lateral move.

Week before last, the Half Man (although more like three-quarter man now) and I remembered to go to the first outdoor summer concert at Central Park. I like the atmosphere at these events. But we were not dressed for the evening cold and the wind was strong, eventually driving us home way before the concert ended. Then last week, we were too busy house hunting and I forgot about the concert till it was over. Must remember to go this Sunday. Last week's theme was California Dreaming. Pity. It would have been enjoyable. A year ago, the mom, aunt and sis were here and sis, I and the kids went. I miss having them with us.

Summer is the best for fruits. Cherry season is drawing to an end and I have not had my fill yet. Love them.

Weather's kind of freaky. Some days are actually chilly and others are hot. Today is stifling. The kids are out so it is quiet and kind of relaxing. They need to get out and socialize more. Especially the Half Man. His routine, if you leave it entirely to him, is an unvarying one - hours of immobility in front of the com with hardly any human interaction or muscle movement except for the fingers. Pretty sad way to spend time in America.

I have very negligent in downloading the videos we took to the com or drive and posting them. Don't understand the lethargy. Must be the long lazy days of summer. Next week I will be going to Calgary. Should be interesting.

Sad

Have not blogged for a while. Seem to be losing steam. The fire is smouldering, dying down a little. Unlike the 1000 or so fires raging all across California. Partly due to a spurt of self doubt and lingering resentment. Partly due to laptop being perenially hijacked by very addicted offsprings who seem to live in cyberspace to the detriment of their muscular health.

We have been searching the rental market - get a sense of what's out there. Not very fruitful and rather disappointed with the results so far. Opportunities to cut down some to fund the college kid are not looking so bright. Maybe we'll just stay put or maybe look for something in the same range. Seems there is a wide gulf between condos and homes for just a little more - you get so much more space and amenities per $ of rent. Weird. Probably because of the upsurge in apartment rentals due to sub-prime. I can only guess.

So smitten by uncertainties and even fears. Don't know where to head and how to handle. What lies ahead? Where is the right direction? What paths to take? So many questions, with no answers in sight.

We are big fans of the various home and reno shows on TV here. It makes us envious to see beautiful homes going for a fraction of what it would cost in the Bay Area. Pity.

Have been very lethargic lately about posting and putting on the pics. Will try and do so soon.

Sweltering

It's hot, hot, hot and going to get hotter, hotter and hottest. Whew!

Moaning

Got to get out of the house and do something useful. This is insane, to be holed up in the house while the sun shines outside and daylight hours are long and inviting. How inane can we get to waste the hours of summer doing what is best left for the short cold days of winter? My car needs a wash and with the restriction on home washing because of the drought, I got to get to a car wash. But I can't get the one out of bed where she languishes playing with that silly gadget and the other up from the floor where he languishes with my laptop watching some silly cartoons and occasionally playing twirl on facebook. Oh, for some energetic outdoorsy type of kid...

Stifling Summer?

I have not blogged for ages. Mostly due to apathy and the all-consuming absorption with job transition, home and heath. Much has happened and nothing has happened. Summer hols are here for the kids and so it is daily gripe over computer games and boredom and the usual litany of "i am not going out..." for one and "curfew, yeah right..." for the other. Where is the happy medium?

We have no plans for the summer since we scratched the trip to Palm Springs that was supposed to happen next week. It was a bad idea to plan it for July - temperatures are well into the triple digit zone and we would have sweltered and withered under the relentless sun. Golfing would be suicidal. That is now going to happen in the cooler month of November.

Yesterday was Fourth of July and we did the mandatory visit to Central Park to spend some hours with the crowd celebrating America's birthday. The highlight of course was the firework display which was much better this year than last. To our delight, the Man came with us and we sat on the two portable chairs I bought cheap at Lucky supermart just a couple of weeks earlier and the two stools from last summer in Vancouver. Those are proving to be good value for money too. I can't wait for the summer concerts to begin so we can lounge out on the slopes of Central Park and enjoy summer while it lasts. Too soon, the days will start to get real short and cold.

This is definitely a year of change for the ol' US of A. The high gas prices are likely to result in some fundamental shift in the American way of life, at least, in the penchant for gas guzzling trucks and SUVs and the suburban lifestyle. You can see more condo's springing up - maybe this is a precusor of a long term trend for people living closer to where they work. The presidential election will be an interesting event to watch - it will be history in the making. People are staying home more and you can tell car prices are already taking a hit. Home prices are softer but not soft enough in this area to make it feasible for us to consider anything but renting. I cannot see myself living from paycheck to paycheck like we used to simply because of a dream to own a piece of real estate. The employment situation too is not looking so good. Let's hope America does not slide into a recession. For selfish reasons too. I am not ready to go back...

The weather is gonna get hot this coming week. I can just feel the lethargy setting in already. Today is just so lazy, a day of lying around, too inert to do anything with the heat just on the edge of beginning to get stifling. Everyone is just doing his/her own thing, ignoring each other because the slightest interaction would potentially explode into irritation - it is just a tad too hot to be cool to each other. Ahh, the long lazy irritable days of summer...

Girl Graduate

A chapter ended today and another will start soon. Like tens of thousands of seniors around the country, Nic graduated from high school today. In a 2-hour ceremony at the packed school football field, we sat under the hot sun and watched as CalHigh's graduating seniors marched onto the field in their gowns and mortar hats, the girls in white and the boys in black. In his speech, the principal gave a litany of honors CalHigh has won and surprise surprise surprise, CalHigh was ranked by Newsweek as among the top 5% of about 27,000 public high schools in its annual survey.

As first timers, we did not know what to expect but I certainly was not going to let the family miss the experience. So leaving Nic and Val at home to get ready, the three of us packed the camcorder, picked up Daynon from the Lai's home, drove through McDonald's for some take-aways and then discovered when we reached the school that we had left the tickets at home in the excitement!

In typical American fashion, the ceremony was noisy, somewhat irreverent and all about cheering the graduates as each person is called to the podium. Lots of yelling and whistling and horns blaring as the seniors went up to receive their diplomas and pose for pictures with the principal. It was quite a challenge trying to capture all the moments with the camcorder because of the crowding where we sat. Still there should be enough pictures to memorise the day.

Exciting Events

Hooray, I don't have to go to Houston this week. Workshop was cancelled and now I can concentrate on learning my new job and attending to administrative stuff. Tedium yes and essential. Also will not miss the mentoring conference. Need to step up my role as a mentor. I am beginning to feel like I am one of the mentees instead of one of the mentors.

I must confess I am getting terrified of the new job. It appears more and more each day like I stepped into a gory mess of indecision, uncontrolled growth and political lobbying. Better get my arms around it soon or it will be the end of me and my career here. But I have little help and even less guidance. Gotta find my own way around and really learn how to network with the upper management types and polish up my influencing skills. Trouble is I am still double-hatting and it is time consuming and distracting. Help me guardian angel!

So we went to San Jose on Friday night to eat Cajun crawfish for my bd. The Man did not seem to like it much - like most Americans, he thought it was too much work for very little payback. True. But the fun is in the messiness and the peeling and the sucking and of course, the Cajun flavor. The kids and I had fun. If I can find another Cajun crawfish place nearer home, we will definitely go often. Travelling some 26 miles for dinner even if it is what I had craved is kinda ex considering the price of gas these days. I went for the hottest flavor and the Half Man was breathing smoke after a while. Good thing the drinks were bottomless so they both got refills. The shrimp ordered by the Man was good too. When the family comes in December, we should try it out but crawfish season could be over. I need to learn more about these kinds of local goings-on. Still getting to know the ol' US of A even though I have more years here than any place outside of the little red dot.

Brought my team midweek to a baseball game at AT&T stadium in SF. Our last hurrah so to speak. First time to a Giants game and they lost 5:3 to the NY METS. Still we had great food and great fun. The team enjoyed it and the time we had together. I shall miss having a team to work with and look after. Flying solo here on will be a strange experience. I've always had people under me.

This is the final week of school for the kids and Nic will be graduating from high school. She is challenging to talk to. There are activities the school has lined up and she won't talk about them and she won't participate. Like Grad Night and today's baccalaureate blessing thing at the church next to Bridges golf course. These are all part of the American experience and how many Singapore kids get that kind of exposure? Still talking to her always end up in a contest of will and I am too tired and too stressed for these sorts of matches. Between worrying about the new job, carrying on with the old, picking up after the family at home and trying to make sure I stay on top of school happenings and school grades, I am beginning to feel like I am being swept along by a gigantic tide and floundering hopelessly out of control. Things are controlling me, I am not taking charge.

I don't know what we will do this summer now that YY and UJ are not coming. I checked and it looks like Palm Springs in July is not such a good idea - with temperatures in the 100's, I don't think we will be able to do much except swelter in the heat. So I postponed it to November when the weather is more friendly. This leaves us with no plans whatsoever for summer. Maybe we will just take nearby trips and get to know our neighboring counties a little better. And no more Sunday tennis at Amador Valley High since Chinese classes have also ended for the Half Man.

I have some pics that I will post later.

Soliloquy

It has been a while. Much has happened but the time and inclination were not conducive. Schools are winding down and with all the finals over, the stress levels has leveled off a bit especially for the high schooler. It has been a challenge with one particular subject and I cannot begin to describe the sense of disbelief at what was happening and why.

Anyway, that's a story for another day.

Meantime, we had the school award ceremony for all the seniors who either won some award or other or some kind of scholarships. It does seem like there are a fair number of these around and it is entirely up to the kids to go apply for them. I cannot comprehend why most kids won't even lift a finger. There's money for the taking and from the looks of it, it does not seem all that insurmountable to qualify. Many of them may be too busy working at Safeway and other joints or just disinterested.

And there was the final Spring concert at CalHigh for Nic. I have been busy with the camcorder but the videos are too large to upload. I must find time to organize all these memories. They are all on the iBook but filed away in no consistent way. Unstructured data - that's a term that's gonna be my nemesis or my center of gravity, depending on how well I do my new job. Oh did I say I have a new position? That gives us a new lease of life in staying here longer.

Was in New Orleans en-route to the offshore platform and on the way back. City is still recovering from Katrina. Some parts like the French Quarters are pretty much intact - they were barely touched by the flood - but other areas are still bad. We did not see much since we were basically just passing through but I did see some abandoned homes. We spent half a day with GreenLight, an organization devoted to changing out lights at homes in New Orleans to CFL. It is an interesting concept - the small organization gets donations of CFL lights from companies like WalMart and get volunteers to change out the lights in homes to reduce the carbon footprints home by home by home and in incremental steps help reduce electricity consumption and therefore global climate change. Hopefully, this movement will catch on and spread to other cities.

Summer holidays are almost here and soon the schools will all be in recess. No one is coming this summer so I guess we will have to entertain ourselves. If my new job does not take up a 110% of my waking hours. Soon Bean will be here if only for a few days and before you know it, we will be sending Nic off to college and I will be looking at large school bills again.

Will post more soon. Adieu!

Storyboard

This is just a picture story - of self conscious teens waiting for a very long limo to bring them to a prom night and of a prodigal daughter returning if only for a short time to the warmth of a family still coming to terms with changes that have driven them far from home.

And these are the blooms from the solitary rose plant in our backyard to welcome spring. And a Half Man who is sounding rather weird these days. Finally, this is a view of Lake Mead from a vantage point at Hoover's Dam en-route to Death Valley. You can very clearly see the high water mark. The whole experience was just awesomeness!

Ponder

Have not kept up this journal for a while. Truth be told, I just did not feel like it. Too many things to keep up that can eat up all your waking hours and more. Plus the week has been real hot, like 106 fahrenheit these past couple of days. Spring is surely not yielding so fast to summer? We need it to stay a while more. To keep the flowers blooming in the tiny backyard and stave off any more heat.

Carynn was here for 2 weeks and as usual, the room looked like a hurricane passed through it on a daily basis. And the amount of garbage she left behind for us to clear. Life has a way of coming around. Her time will come.

But while she was here, we took some road trips - to Carmel, Stinson Beach and Gilroy. With gas prices the way they are, this short vacation of hers has cost me a bundle.

Moving to another position soon. Asked to post because the powers that be say they needed someone strong in that place. I have mixed feelings. Happy that the leaders recognise what I can bring but sad to leave my team although not all of them have been that fun to work with. My job is not done - I can make more changes, get more of my vision for the team and what we do underway, build a stronger more cohesive team that knows how to move faster, to know who to call and how get more accomplished in a shorter time. But it is not to be. Although I think I have made enough of an impression so my legacy will remain for some time. Some said they wanted to go with me because they want to continue to work with me and did not want to lose me but of course, that's not possible. But who knows... Gratifying that even a business manager and the consultants came when rumors were floating around to ascertain the truth and poke around to see if I would change my mind and stay because there is still so much more to do and it would be a blow to lose me.

This job is going to be very busy which I can handle. But there is likely to be considerable travel. The past year and a half of relatively sedentary living has been a wonderful change from the years of constant travel and I was reveling in it. But fate is fate. I am destined not to be very deskbound.

So tomorrow, I go to Sugarland for 1.5 days of transition with the incumbent. Since my new boss works there, chances are I will get to know Sugarland well. But the days after should be awesome. Off with my mentoring learning group to New Orleans to visit Green Light and then on a helicopter to an offshore platform. How cool is that??? A chance to walk the platform, talk to the riggers, look at how wells are drilled through miles of ocean water and sea bed. Got to take lots of pictures. Going to be hot and humid though. Must remember to bring lots of sunblock.

The half man is growing up fast. He sounds funny sometimes and his forehead is crowded with blackheads, s sure sign of hormonal activity. His pants are all hanging around his ankle and with his durian hair, he looks like "Ah Long" from some back lanes in Geylang. And he rejects all suggestins of getting new pants and a haircut. What can you do with someone who does not want to look decent? But he is still my boy who still sheepishly brings his pillows and bolster and plunks them down beside my bed so he can sleep next to me as he did all his boyhood.

And the girl still does not know if she wants to attend Grad Night. Which leaves me with a dilemma - to volunteer to help or ignore all the emails that asks for help. Oh well, somethings you just don't want to push. It is fine with me if she opts out.

Bean's Birthday

Happy Birthday, Brynn Brynn! We appreciate your trying hard to make good grades and we cheer you on. You can excel if you put your heart and soul into whatever it is you want to achieve. You are into your second decade and a new chapter is opening up for you. The pages are blank - so use them well to shape your future in ways big and small to make this world a better place for all of us but especially for yourself.

Love from mom, dad, bro and sis.

Sanity

As the Rev Wright talks endlessly on CNN, one cannot but admires his stamina and learning. Yes, he is controversial and intentionally provocative, but he does bring across some interesting viewpoints. His passion is palpable and he minces not his words. You may not agree with all his arguments but you cannot but admire his breadth of learning and understanding. He is the epitome of the African American civil rights religious leaders.

But I partake not of any of this. To me lies the daily struggles of putting food on the table and putting kids through school. I am perhaps the epitome of the apathetic Singaporean, brought up to leave politics alone because there is a great deal of personal risks to be seen to be too outspoken, to be too visible and to be perceived a firebrand. America is different, yes, there is passionate argument, always the strive to provide different views, to allow all and sundry to bring forth their side of the picture, to parry and thrust, to challenge and question. But I only watch from the sidelines, musing, mildly interested but mostly they wash over me like the water of a stream over the stones and pebbles on its bed. This is perhaps the most interesting US presidential election in a long long time with the possibility of either the first American woman president or the first non-white American president. But I have little energy to devote to following the in's and out's, the primaries and scandals. It is hard to shake off the years of self preservation, of material pursuits above democratic rights and freedom of speech, of avoiding all politics if one so as not to jeopardize one's rice bowl.

And that is what makes it sad for Singapore and Singaporeans...

EWB

I am in Boulder, Colorado, after a long day of visits and presentations on renewable, alternative, sustainable energy and humanitarian engineering. It has been interesting but also a lot of information download. We landed at Denver yesterday, drove to Golden, checked into a hotel and immediately began our learning group discussions and activities. By the time, we called it a night, it was way after 10 and I was tired. But sleep eluded to my utter annoyance and disbelief. How could it be? I should be sound asleep.

It was snowing lightly when we arrived in Denver and a bit more in Golden. After a restless night of tossing, the sight of snow dusted mountains rimming the town and trees covered with pretty clumps of snow was strangely calming. Despite the snow, it was not too cold. We drove to the Colorado School of Mines where we toured the fuel cell and geology labs and learned about humanitarian engineering and the university's many faceted alternative energy research over lunch. Then off to NREL where unfortunately, my documents were not submitted so not being a citizen, I was not allowed on the tour of the grounds. Alone in the visitor center, I spent two quiet hours in the exhibit area reading all about the research into solar, hydro, goethermal, biofuel, biomass and house designs that capture or avoid heat depending on seasons and latitudes. Then the group came back and we sat through several more hours of talks on the subjects where I struggled to keep my sleep deprived mind from recklessly dropping my head on the table.

Then off to Boulder where we checked into this century old hotel that looked so small from the outside but had a skywalk inside that linked to another much bigger part of the hotel. Very interesting old America style architecture - stained glass ceiling, flowered wallpaper everywhere, old Victorian style furniture, a 100-year old manned elevator and beautiful courtyard. Over dinner, we had a very inspiring talk from a professor from the local university who has been a leader of Engineers without Borders in the US since 1997. He talked about how he got into working with third world countries, and showed us all the different projects he and his students had done to help make life more bearable for poor people in so many different parts of the world. French American, he did not seem very interesting at first when we first sat down to dinner but his talk was the best event of the entire trip so far. The engineers and professors we had met all day long all talked about projects of grand scales to reduce carbon emissions, greenhouse gases and find alternative sources of energy to feed ever increasing demands of a world grown used to more and more power hungry growth. And now here was this professor who spends three months of his year, working with his students on small engineering projects of $800, $1000 or $15000 on a century old pumping system that America had long forgotten that uses potential energy from a 7-foot waterfall to bring water to a village so a little girl could go to school instead of fetching water all day long from a nearby stream, putting in equipment in a school in Nepal where the smiles on the kids' faces as they gazed into a donated computer could light up the universe, digging 300 feet wells into an acquifier away from an existing contaminated well helped ensured kids who traditionally would not be named till they were 6 because most never lived to 5 could grow up healthy, putting in school programs in Palestine and Israel so kids would be busy learning instead of throwing rocks at each other, setting up programs to bring vocational skills to children at risk in Africa so they could earn a living... And he gave us the talk in a most unassuming, humorous way, pleading almost for the people who earn $1 a day and whose daily concern was to live another day. And his message was so profound - our schools don't teach engineers on the interaction of health, social interactions, economics and engineering so that the things we build in the less developed countries are appropriate and sustainable. And there is so much to do because UN and Unicef statistics tell us there is so much poverty, malnutrition and death each day from totally un-necessary and totally avoidable causes. Meanwhile the world spends $31,000 a second on arms.

My problems all seem so small now. Tomorrow, more activities and then home.

CalDay

Boy, is it ever so hot today. Freakish to think that not too many days ago, we were all still pretty much all wrapped up in sweats and fleece, reluctant to go downstairs because it is a few degrees colder than the bedroom. We played four hours of tennis under a sweltering 87 or 90 degrees F from 9:00 am. California spring is very quickly turning into summer. Too quickly if you ask me.

Yesterday was hot too when we were trudging up and down the gentle slopes of the UC Berkeley campus. It was Cal Day, open house for all new students and their families. We were very lucky first to find parking right in front of a Chinese restaurant where we took a quick lunch. I did not realise it was paid parking and glad to get away scot free. And we were very lucky to be just around when a car pulled out of a nice parking spot in a multi-storey car park just in front of the campus.

There were information booths, wheels of fortune where we got a free t-shirt (large unfortunately) and a recyclable luggage tag (what else would you expect from UCB). There was a carnival atmosphere with a 1920's jazz band of oldies that we listened to on the steps for a bit and free trolleys reminiscient of San Francisco that took people round the campus and into Berkeley. Considering how briskly cold it had been just the day before, the summer like weather played to UCB's advantage. People were out sitting on the grass, enjoying the sun, frisbees flew and the drinks stalls did a brisk trade. Here are some pics:

After the trolley ride, it was off to the new student mixer at Nic's college where she met other students, new and existing, and the Half Man and I got our hands on a couple of bottles of water and some free snacks. Then to the School of Life Sciences to gaze at the most complete fossil of a T-Rex in the world and some mushrooms and flowers before trekking back to the car and the drive home.

Weekend

I am sore. Today, my left knee hurt a lot and I just could not run or bend when playing tennis. It was very uncomfortable and made worst by the fact that with no one else playing, I was up against the Man himself. It was like my knee cap had disintegrated. Paying the price for the years of driving myself, running long laps around Hwa Chong's stadium and around Serangoon Gardens on the asphalt in an effort to prevent further loss of bone mass. Then the Half Man came during the break between Chinese class and chess and I had a bit of respite, nursing and rubbing the knee and its surrounds. And to my surprise, the second half of playing against the Man did not hurt anymore. I could actually run and bend again. I don't understand. But I was grateful.

And I came home to a mountain of laundry to fold and put away. Sigh. There has to be more to life than housework on Saturdays and laundry on Sundays.

Last night was fun. Makan time at the Lai's with the usual suspects, talking about Singapore and like any true blue Singapore, about char kway teow, teh tarik, dirty/squatting toilets and national service for the sons, even those born here. Getting together with all these friends we have made here are the highlights. They always make us feel wanted and included. We are grateful.