Zen

You can tell when I am on leave. I look for ways to spend my time because I get so angtsy when time passes and I am not doing anything. Explains why I am writing this journal almost every other day when I can go dark for weeks during normal times. Too much a chip off the old block. My father was a workaholic - he worked himself to death basically. I don't think I will do that but the need to make full use of every living day, every living hour is obsessive. I just don't know how to savor lazy days like I used to be able to as a kid - give me a couch and a good book, a big glass of water and something salty to wash down the water with and I will be dead to the world for hours. Something my mother could never understand or tolerate. Or just do nothing as others can. I envy them. I look at the bathroom or kitchen and thoughts of washing and scrubbing come to the fore. I look at the washing closet and thoughts of eliminating that basket of laundry fills the mind. Which is why some would say, I am pai mia - literally difficult life.

This is the one vacation where I have been forced not to plan anything to do or places to go. I am paranoid about filling my vacation days to the brim with "useful" or "productive" activities. When can I learn to let go and just live for the moment? To focus on the people around me rather than on things to do and tasks to fill the time?

Last night, I lay on Nic's bed for a bit just to feel her next to me, to enjoy the quiet respite. We chatted a bit, we built the companionship and it was wonderful. We do that sometimes, but too rarely. She will be gone to college soon and I just know my heart will break one more time. She has always been the cutest but also the most withdrawn of my girls. The one who would play truant when she was supposed to be at ballet class and not tell you why when caught or questioned. Who at Primary 2 would not do homework for 3 whole terms crushing up the assignment papers into a big ball in her schoolbag, who would almost every year till she was 15 sleep for half an hour dead to the teacher and her classmates while lessons were going on, who would stare with those big guileless eyes at her piano teacher and not breathe a word thereby driving Mrs Fong beserk and furious enough to threaten a stop to all lessons multiple times... Nic is just ... different. Yet she, more than the others, has a huge hidden reservoir of resolve and guts, and will stand up and be counted if it comes to that. She has talents but would not use them, until the moment is right. Witness the momentous climb from near bottom to having the best "O" level results of all my girls, even better than the much vaunted cousin who will remain un-named. I just know when the occasion calls for it, my Nic will rise to any challenge. She just needs to be comfortable with herself and to believe in herself. When she finds herself, she will be awesome.

Spring Sojourn

Today was spent planning out Spring break. My colleagues tell me Death Valley is a sight to behold in spring when the temperatures are bearable and the millions of flowers bloom as if overnight. Death Valley - the name itself is beguiling and one always hear of it in association with people crawling near death under a merciless sun or vehicles churning up clouds of dust on long lonely roads amidst barren rocks and parched earth. Courtesy of hollywood. So Death Valley always holds a certain morbid fascination. The reality could be very different. We shall see.

I am so not good at planning these events. Unlike YY. It took me hours looking and re-looking at different websites, checking out rates and availability, googling for directions, finding out what makes budgetary sense without ending up in some unsafe dump. Wish YY were here. I miss her terribly.

So the reservation is made. Our last trip before Nic heads off to college. Or maybe we can still squeeze in a short summer trip. Yellowstone maybe? I don't know how long more we will stay in this vast land. Hopefully many more years but who knows?

So I have not done anything on my vacation except for this. But I have been sleeping, if not totally restfully, at least with enough hours to pay off some of the sleep debt that inevitably accumulates during normal work weeks. It is wonderful to be able to just sleep on without having to check the clock. And the Man and I did put in a couple of hours on the tennis court over the last couple of days. Thank you fuddy.

I forget Christmas eve. It was quite some night. There were a lot more people than I had figured would be coming. Peter and Mary, CJ and Tommy and their 2 boys, Amy and Elvin and their two girls, Patrick and Jenny and 2 nephews and niece from Singapore, Su-ann and her mom, Lai's family and our foursome. That's quite a crowd. The food was yummy - the Lai's are good cooks - but more than that, the company was really enjoyable. Lai's brother and sister-in-law (Patrick and Jenny) are very friendly. Between them, Su-ann who is still schooling but also works at Old Towne Cafe and speaks with a distinct Singapore accent even though she is from JB, and Lai, we laughed all night. So much so, we forgot the time and only broke up after 2:00 am.

Christmas Cheers

To our families and friends in Singapore, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! We are feeling a great big vacuum because we have never spent a Christmas and New Year without all of you surrounding us.

We miss singing carols in GuGu's house and we miss opening up presents under the tree and making a mess. And most of all, we miss the warmth and company of our family and friends.

Giving

How do you raise children? The Chinese has a saying, birth is natural, raising them is natural. Something like that. Hard to paraphrase without losing all the nuances. Wish it were that simple. In the old days maybe. When children were meant to be seen but not heard. The way my parents raised us - at least for the brief period we were together as a family. Mother and Father were not around much for us - it's a wonder we didn't end up psychological wrecks or wayward persons with no ballast. Most of what I remember of childhood was a constant reminder of being on the fringe of want, never having much of anything and sharing a single bed with my sibling, a succession of relatives and even a neighbour rotating in and out of our lives to make up for the absences of our parents, and lots of punishments from the mother rightly or wrongly. Hard to be the eldest, especially if you are not a son. A son is treasure, the eldest daughter expected to help with the burdens. Still can't say I have not been fortunate. I had education, and I had books where I could journey into different realms and discover other dimensions, much more than my mother ever had or could do. So each generation surpasses the previous, like the relentless waves of the ocean.

But I struggle with parenting. The old saying assumes parenting comes with giving them life. It's not so simple. In the old days, all you do is feed them, clothe them, and maybe impart some traditions and values - I remember mother sitting us down in a row at mealtimes when we were young, feeding us in turn from the same bowl. If I am allowed to be crude, like an assembly line or feeding farm animals. Barely literate, how could they be expected to help with homework, worry about getting good grades and not having missing assignments? Barely able to sustain the family, how could they provide the extras that hopefully will provide a more rounded, more complete exposure to the many facets of life, like music lessons, overseas education, golf lessons, hoilday trips to broaden minds and outlooks? There is no expectation of any returns on investment - you expense in the hope they have richer more interesting more fulfilling lives than yours and there is scant expectation that anything comes back. Meantime, the words of war and the stress age you, cause the body to increasingly fail because of the toil the acts of giving life itself and the stress take on the physical, mental and emotional.

In quieter moments, I thought there is a meaning and a purpose to all these, that someday when their turn comes, they will realise that their parents did all with the best intents, all because of a four letter word. In reality, it is just to numb the mind and heart and measure the days when the burden will pass and the Man and I can live as we will. But that day may come too late for us to really fully live it.

Shows & Shopping

Yesterday, we went to watch two, yes 2, movies. Golden Compass and I Am Legend or something like that. Starring Will Smith as a doctor who found a vaccine to save mankind from a cancer cure gone awry. I rather enjoyed both shows, especially the second but the Half Man who was with me for both, cringed all through the Legend. He is still a bit of a baby when it comes to horror or scary movies.

Today, the Half Man and I will go do a bit of last minute Christmas shopping, just as soon as I finish paying all the bills and this post. Yes!

Happy Holidays

Today is the start of the year end holidays. Till Jan 6. But we have no plans and no place to go. Maybe we can still take day trips and explore the Bay Area. Go to Apple Hill past Sacramento. Maybe take a day trip to Yosemite although the drive is so long, you have to leave almost as soon as you arrive. I exaggerate. Maybe a few hours later. But the days are so short, you will be mostly driving in the dark if you leave even after two hours of arriving. Seems silly.

Speaking of short days, today is the winter solstice. Shortest day of the year. Yeah! From tomorrow, each day becomes longer. Something to look forward to.

I promised the Half Man we will go catch a movie, probably Golden Compass at the Hacienda Crossings, very close to where the relatives stayed exactly a year ago. The apartment where we struggled in the freezing cold to find the key and could not figure out the key lock. That seems like it happened only yesterday but it was a year ago. Go figure.

Yesterday, I sat with Lay Keow watching the Cal High winter band performance. The symphonic band played first and they were good. Then the orchestra and they were good too. But the final band, the wind emsemble was AWESOME. They got standing ovation from some of the parents. Well deserved. Especially, one very fast piece that according to Kent Johnson, the music teacher and conductor, had 62 times or something like that and it was only the second time in 3 months of practice that the band had got it correct. The kids were impressive. All of them, although those in the seats watching were somewhat rowdy in their cheerings, especially when Kent was talking to the audience. A little disrespectful. But they came to cheer their friends on and the support was palpable.

Christmas eve, we are off to Lay Keow's house for dinner. I am looking forward to it.

Ryan's Recital II

Amazingly, it was the time of the year when Milen and his wife puts together the Christmas recital for their students again. Wow, seems like it was not so long ago that we went to the first one in honor of Mother's Day.

There were 20 some kids who played pieces ranging from beginner pieces like what we endured for all 4 offsprings to a couple of boys who in addition to the piano also played on their own recorder and violin. One, an Indian girl of 8, was in her birthday finery and another Chinese girl is going to be 6 in a couple of days so this was a rather special day for both of them. If I may say so myself as a proud mom, he was a league apart from all of them even the boy just before him. Milen had organized the pianists in order of maturity or competency, beginning with the really young who just started but there were a couple who may be older than the Half Man. Both in May and today, Ryan was the final player, like a grand finale.

Here is Ryan's recital, for which he got praised by some folks who came up at the end of the event to congratulate him. One of them even brought her son, Ryan, who played earlier to introduce him to our Ryan. Almost all asked how old he was, I guess to compute in their own minds how good a pianist he is relative to their own kids. One lady jokingly said her daughter has a whole year to come up to his standards. I secretly believe the Half Man basked in all the glory even though he was mostly shy, a tad embarrassed and retiring.



Milen ended the event by playing a Christmas song with his wife singing. I will post their piece later. And because I am such a proud mom, I also posted the Half Man's pieces on YouTube. Here is the link:

The rest of the day was spent waiting in the car while the Half Man joined what was left of the weekly First Tee lesson and in a stupor in bed, catching up on a sleep debt from a whole week of uneasy sleep.

Nothingness

It has been a week since lau ta and Stef went back to Oxtown. Shocking how time slips by when you are not noticing. But there is a plus to the vacuum she left behind. The mess that seems to surround her wherever she goes is also gone. Sigh. Picking up after her is almost a full time job. I just cleared out a full bowl of tapioca balls from her shortlived effort to make bubble tea for us. That thing has been there for more than two weeks.

The year is rapidly drawing to a close and we have no plans for the winter break. It seems so humdrum compared to last year when first BYY and then the others came a-visiting and there was all that excitement of skiing and snowboarding at Lake Tahoe. Frankly, we do not know what to do with ourselves. Meantime, adieu.

Pyramidal Passage

So here is the Cal High performance at the Tournament Championship at Fairfield High School some weeks ago. The band has improved and improved its performance since the parents review when we first were invited to view "Passage to the Pyramids." This final performance was much different from the preview and indisputably, the best. Watch carefully and you can see the Eqyptian postures and the formation of the pyramid.



And admire these cool pics of Muir Woods, Stinson Beach, vistas from Pacific Highway 1 and GGB:

Living Life

Last night I went off by myself to spend time with myself. I really did not intend it that way. I wanted to do something for myself, for once. And since Nic had to go to Marta's apartment for some school thing, it seemed like an OK thing to do. So I dropped her off at Windermere and drove aimlessly and ended up at StoneRidge where I found myself checking into a facial package. I was remorseful after it happened even to spend some on myself. I walked the length of the mall twice or more killing time, waiting for the magical hour to retrieve my daughter. JC Penney was having a big sale. I browsed and circled round many times around the shoes because I really should get myself a decent pair for the office and clothes because my wardrobe is old but in the end I walked away from it all.

I called and asked if I could come early, just sit and wait or read a magazine. I could hear the negotiations and discussions over the cell. And in the end, the girls refused. They did not want me anywhere in the apartment. I did not mind. I thought they probably would feel very awkward with me there watching. So although I arrived before 11 pm, I sat in the car in the cold. Until, I was told to come up. Marta's mom was awake so the girls ccould bear to have me there.

In quiet moments, I have pondered how others view me and why my relationships with those closest to me are the way they are. The obsession with making sure we have enough set aside for a rainy day and fears of not being able to send the kids to college because I failed to save have made me a bitter, overly miserly person, someone difficult to live with, whose larder is usually devoid of life's little favors. Marta's family lives in a so-called low income housing complex (much nicer if you ask me than a 4-room HDB flat) yet the small apartment was crammed full of things - CDs. musical equipment. nic-nacs and there were plenty of things to tempt a teenager's palate. And it was warm with plenty of laughter because the kids were allowed to make a mess while dreaming up their piece for the upcoming talent show. Yeah it was messy and the mom was with some pain, stepping on things but she happily served up bagels with goat cheese, V8's, tea, tid-bits, snacks and jokes. She has nightmares about not being able to meet quotas but would not trade in the flexiblity to decide how she spends her time as a self employed agent, relishing her freedom to spend time as she wills with her family. Contrast this with me - I have anxieties about being laid off and being forced into early retirement but would not risk a steady income. I obsessively set for myself savings targets and have not even been spending on lunch, mostly living on yogurt from Costco, hot chocolate from the office pantry and fig bakes from Target. At the supermarts, my instinctive responses to my kids' "shall we buy ..." are inevitably a no unless it is a necessity. And my insistence on neatness and cleanliness and constant harping on turning off the lights, the heating, the water and consistently asking about school grades have made me a nag. If I were a teenager, I think I would find myself hard to like. No wonder why my own find it hard to converse with me. I have become my own worst enemy.

Thanksgiving Thrills

This week has been pretty nice, being on leave and with Carynn and Stef here from Buffalo. The girls arrived on Tuesday and will stay for 12 days. It is also Thanksgiving week and we all trooped down to Nik's house on Thanksgiving Day which was Thursday for turkey dinner with a bunch of friends. It is always very enjoyable on those occasions. Both husband and wife are good cooks and always serve a wonderful meal.

On Wednesday, we went up to Muir Woods and Stinson Beach where we had a very American lunch with a bunch of houseflies for company and then a long and very winding drive down Pacific Highway 1 ending at Golden Gate Bridge. I managed to get to the South Vista Point where we had the mandatory touristy photo moments. And I made a wrong turn trying to get into the City and ended driving North on the Golden Gate Bridge so had to do a U turn off the Northern Vista Point and paying the $5 bridge toll a second time. Sigh!

And since we were heading home through Frisco, we decided to just thrill the girls by driving down the curviest road in the world at 5 mph. It was already dusk and a little hard to see but the girls gave the expected oohs and ahhs as we slowly crawled down Lombard Street. Then happy that we had done the must-do in downtown San Francisco, we headed home.

Yesterday was Black Friday so of course, we girls had to go shopping. The Man and Half Man would rather stay home and watch TV. Off we went to Walnut Creek with Carynn behind the wheels. There were some good deals - the girls got a lot of shirts and bags from H&M at prices to die for, like $1 and $5 and with a 25% discount to top it all off if you pay before 12 noon. Then to StoneRidge Mall where we went only to Forever 21 which had no sale yet the store was full of people and clothes all over the place. Yet we still found somethings to buy. You do get carried away with the crowd.

So much for Black Friday. We spent the rest of the day pretty much doing nothing with some of us snoozing and the rest cybersurfing. Today is starting late. It is already past 11 and Stef is still in bed and C on the phone as usual talking to her Ox-Town friends. They can talk for hours. Amazing. First Tee lessons for the Half Man ended couple of weeks ago and the second session only starts next week. I wonder what we will do today. Maybe go for a spin on Pacific Highway 1? South this time of course to Santa Cruz and Carmel. But it is already getting late and Stef is still in bed...

And I cannot post the CalHigh marching band video. At 1.2 GB, it is way too big for YouTube. But check out the videos that others had posted.

Winning Watch

Pics from Fairfield. Videos to be added later.

Clockwise from top left:

Daddy in the stand; daddy, Uncle Keng and Auntie Nic; prizes waiting to be given away; and CalHigh marching band in their uniforms in the opposite stand waiting for the winning announcements.

Ramblings

So today, I went for Lasik eye exam. Just to get a second assessment. The first one I went to a couple of weeks ago said I could go for mono vision in both eyes and be able to both read and see far without glasses anymore. Be rid of the bane of all of my adult life. But the doctor was "not in the network" so to speak of our eye medical insurance so there was no deduction whatsoever. Thought I would get a second opinion and a second cost estimate just to see. No pun intended.

Well, the clinic today in Concord was definitely more hi-tech. All kinds of sophisticated eye equipment. I got my eyes shoned at, my glasses checked and ailments validated. They put some drops in both eyes to dilate the pupils and scan the retinas. Not so good, I discovered later trying to drive home with the half man. The pupils were apparently so dilated, I could barely look at the sun shining through the windshield. Very disconcerting and harsh even through my polaroid Oakley. So I was extra careful on the road. But this clinic does not recommend mono vision - the doctor had done a lot of them but had stopped because the treatment is still "unstable". The prognosis is it would involve elongating my far-sighted eye even more.

Bottomline: both clinics are expensive, but the first one a tad more because the second is currently offering $200 off per eye plus I get a 5% discount because of eye med. But I have decided not to go ahead with either of them - I want to be able to read without glasses, not to get rid of my far-sightedness and astigmatism. These latter do not bother me as much and if the technology to get rid of presbyopia is still "not stable", then I am not willing to spend close to $4,000 to go through Lasik. My kids' college funds come first. Sigh!

Last Saturday, we went to Fairfield for the marching band championship. The finale of the months of training and competition. It was a fitting finale. CalHigh came in first in its class - Class A. The band was splendid. I was such a proud parent, trying to hold my small little digital camera still to take the video and trying to watch over the camera at the same time. The band gave its best performance ever. But the video file is so big - over 1 GB so I am unable to upload it for now. Got to find a way to compress it enough to fit the YouTube 100 MB limit. Going to be challenging. But then again, there are so many much better quality videos of CalHigh's last hurrah, I don't know why I even bother. Actually, I do. It is because my kid was there, in that band, giving her best after months of sun and rain and heat and cold, stumbling and falling, picking herself up, learning teamwork and collaboration and coordination and what it takes to win. And that was why I needed to be there for the competitions, come rain or shine, shivering in the cold blustering wind despite being all wrapped up, losing all sensatons on our bottoms and feet on those uncomfortable stadium seats and shouting my lungs out every time CalHigh is announced. And why I encouraged my little man to shout "Go Nicole!" so his sister would know we were there for her. These are memories for a lifetime.

I could not help but think how far we had come from a tiny tropical paper-chasing island.

Birthday Bashes?

Happy Birthday Uncle Damien and Auntie Siew Mun. And Happy Anniversary too! We miss all of you. We wish you many many happy returns. With much love, the Teys

Champs

Yesterday was rainy. So the marching band competition at Logan High School got washed out. I had gone to get some food and drinks at the shopping square nearby leaving the Man and a Half waiting in the car. So it was with a heavy heart and two somewhat heavy grocery bags that I trudge the 3 blocks or so back to the car because they wanted to call it quits and go home rather than sit on wet benches in the cold watching the kids marching to their own music. We had come all this way and if the kids are game enough to march in the cold and wet, we should support them all the more.

But luckily for us, the event was shiifted to the indoor pavilion but there would be no competition. There simply is not enough space for the bands to go through their routines. And to my delight when we heard the announcement over the loud speaker while huddled miserably in the car, the Half Man immediately lept up and said, it's indoor, we can stay. Off we went to join the long line of families making their way to the indoor stadium. While we all waited patiently outside, the school staff and organizers laid tarps to protect the hardwood floor and set up the ticket booths to resume sales. So $34 poorer later, we sat up high warm and dry applauding all the bands who still gave their best. I will post the CalHigh performance soon - they were much better than they have ever been. Next week will be the final competition. I wish I had a webcam - the camera is ok but its zoom is limited and there is no tripod to cut out the shake.

But the time devoted to the band has consequences. Hopefully the grades will be back where they belong beginning week after next. You can do it, girl. Be the champ you are entirely capable of being.

Musings

It's been a while. Life's been rather hectic lately in the office. And weekends are pretty much filled with errands, going to marching band competitions to support one Nicole and more work, of the house type. I need a life!

As I watch the leaves along the roads to Iron Horse and the office turn yellow, then orange, then red and then fall to the ground, it is with some regret. Because I can see in my mind's eye capturing them on stills as they pass through each phase but they change so fast, almost daily that before you know it, the trees are almost bare and the ground is carpeted with them. Too late to set up the camera and encapsulate the magic of the season.

Looks like we will spend this winter without guests. Maybe we'll go to Vegas, see the sights and help me put my remaining vacation days to good use. It's use them or lose them unlike my US colleagues. But I need to start planning soon. Time just passes by so fast these days.

So I finally found the energy and willpower to use up the $20 coupon I bought at the May wind and arts festival and paid the chiropractor a visit. First visit was mostly about making me sign a bunch of paper, some of which I refused to entertain, mostly relating to my paying if my insurance refuses. Got the poor receptionist in trouble with the doctor because he did not like me keeping back those forms. Then it was scanning my vertebrae to see how good my nerves are and lots of x-rays of the spine.

Next visit was yesterday. The x-rays were very revealing although I had known about the problem for some time. It does look like I am doomed to lots of chiropractic visits in the coming year. Better that than problems in my old age, eh? Actually, I don't feel bad these days. I particularly enjoy the 4 hours of tennis each Sunday with the Chinese gang at Amador Valley High (except when the Man seems more intent on coaching for free than stroking with moi). I feel I am playing much better these days although I am still very breathless when playing single against the Man. The murmuring heart just cannot keep up with the body's need for oxygen. Curved spine and bad heart - what more ominous combination can a person ask for? It is a miracle I am still around after all the crises that have dogged my past.

But like I say, I feel good and tennis Sunday helps make up for the lack of exercise the rest of the week.

Halloween came and went and here are some pics of the cuties who came by for treating and tricking:


And I went to a CalHigh parents' meeting for seniors' grad night preparation recently. Seems parents are roped in to prepare for the grad night for seniors and the celebration go on all day and into the wee hours of the night. Keng was there too and said he and his wife may volunteer to help with the cooking. I am not sure what to sign up for - cloak room duty? A possibility. Don't think I can spare the time for anything else and I certainly don't have the connection to get a free car for the lucky draw. Then I sneaked over to the stadium to look at the kids practising for the next marching band competition. And found that Keng was also there. Took some videos of them. Unfortunately, not of the moments Nicole stumbled and fell to the grass still clutching her clarinet and getting entangled with the marching feet of her fellow clarinetists. But like the true champ that she is, she picked herself up and got back into rhythm. And my heart rallied from my feet where it had dropped when she fell and swelled with pride.

Colors

Fall colors are here. Two days ago, the trees lining the road to Iron Horse Middle School were decidedly green although a couple were starting to change colors. This morning, many were splendid hues of yellow, orange and flaming red. Beautiful!

Such Stress

So we had a recent scare when dad went at 9 pm as usual to pick up Nic from marching band practice and he came back half an hour later hurrying me to find a doctor because she could be having a heart attack and was lying in the car. Not a good thing to be told in the middle of the night as you are about to retire to bed. So a frantic search on the website and we rushed to the nearest regional medical center. Turned out she had been lying on the field in school for 3 hours or so trying to breathe. Hard to believe no one called for that many hours. I wonder what an American mom or dad would have done in situations like this.

Because she was young and could not breathe, she was rushed in so at least we did not have to wait in the emergency room. Many hours later, she was discharged with a "we don't know the cause, but it could be some allergen that triggered a kind of asthma attack" or something like that (I am paraphrasing). It was a very long and tiring night, watching her go through at least 4 different tests and trying to stay awake.

So it was with some trepidation that I watched last night's marching band competition at Cupertino. This was the second competition in two weeks. Last Saturday was at Diablo Valley and then she had the attack on Tuesday. And I heaved a huge sigh of relief when the band went through their strides without a tiny figure suddenly swooning onto the grass. CalHigh was the last of the Class 2 bands to perform so it was already pretty late and they had had no dinner till the performance was over.

Last night's competition was a lot tougher just from the sheer number of bands competing. We left after all the bands had performed but before the awards were announced. I must say it was pretty impressive. The kids put in long hours to come to this stage and they were all good. Especially the Class 1 bands each of which had lots of members and color guards. And pretty much flawless displays. It was fascinating to watch how well the 3 drum majors of the Class 1 bands synchronised their moves. Kudos to all the marching bands.

Here are some pictures and a video of CalHigh marching band at Diablo.

Pardon the shakiness of the video. Hard to keep still when holding a small digital camera and trying to ward off a half man constantly trying to flash his palm across the lens and avoiding a fidgety blond boy just in front of oneself. And next week, the band is off to Gilroy. It'll be a long drive for us to watch the kids compete; we may car pool with Nic, Keng and some other parents from CalHigh. Would have been nice to mix it with shopping but no such luck. First Tee has priority over spending money...

Freaky Fall

The rains of fall are here. The first rain fell just a couple of days ago and today has been wet all day. Soon the brown hills and ranges will turn a pretty shade of green and before you know it, the leaves will turn gloriously gold and red. Yesterday was a beautiful day, sunshine and warm temperatures so my colleague and I sat out in the open at a small Indian restaurant to catch up over lunch. One of the very rare times I get out of the office to eat. You would never guess that the very next day would be so cold and wet. I went to pick Nic up from school this afternoon and saw the kids trudging home, some with umbrellas but many with just their hoodies over their heads and getting all wet. One was still in a t-shirt. He must have very good chi to be able to take the cold this way.

Guess I won't be heading back to Asia in November as I originally thought I would. There is no real reason to make the trip and there are too many projects going on.

I took videos of the CalHigh marching band at the competition last week but have not uploaded them. The school came in second for their group. Probably not what the band teacher was hoping for but it was not bad. I must say the marching bands here are quite interesting and good. Different from the way bands perform in Singapore - here there are color guards that don't play any instruments but dance and wave banners or flags and may perform some acrobatics. The band formations are also different than what I have seen in Singapore. Wish YY and the others are here to share in the experience. Tomorrow night the competition is in San Jose. We are better prepared now with thick clothing - it gets really chilly sitting there watching the bands.

Not much to write about these days. Just routine stuff that would really be boring. Maybe I should start waxing philosophical. But I am whimsically sad about my girls up north - I feel hopeless and useless when it comes to helping them get their footing.

Marching Madly

Here are some pics from the Parent's Preview of the CalHigh Marching Band performances.

Sorry about the messiness - really hard to align the photos. In a while, we are off to Diablo Valley College to the competition. Maybe they will win. By the way, the good looking fella with the closed eyes - that's Nic's older son, Clarence.

Humdrum Homily

So back from Houston last night. Been a busy week attending a technical forum and working on the blackberry and into the night on server and application problems with my team. Because a new application was being used for the first time by the people it was designed for and in a large group. Suffice to say, I was multi-tasking like crazy.

I'm all alone fresh from cleaning out all the bathrooms and the kitchen and doing part of the weekly laundry. The half man helped a little with the carpet downstairs. I am satisfied. While I was away, the Man pruned the garden plants that had really grown all through spring and summer and cleaned out the backyard. Looks really neat now. And the garage as well ):.

Everyone's out. Nic to marching band and the two to the boy's golf lesson. Things have reverted to the routine yet reassuring humdrum pace of life. Good to recalibrate before the next wave of events hit, whatever they may be.

I suppose the mid-Autumn festival is over. I don't really know. Hard to keep track in this country - I am guessing because while I was away, the rest got invited on a week night to Nic's house for moon cakes. For weeks now, the two newly opened Asian supermarts have been selling them and the boy had a craving once so we bought some.

Tomorrow will be tennis. I am looking forward to it. Since Chinese lessons started up again for the half man, we have been playing close to 4 hours of tennis every Sunday. Because Ryan is also taking chess lessons after Chinese. I need the exercise to take the stress off.

Big Breakfast

This coming Monday, I shall be off to Houston for a week of learning, I hope. It has been a very busy few weeks in the office and it would be nice to get away and just learn new things. There will be much changes coming and about time to re-tool. Actually, I have been re-tooling since coming here. Learning about applications using technologies I have not known about before. And in the past few months, routing back to more familiar but still new MS technologies. Really challenging - lots of issues and problems that had to be quickly resolved, yet so interesting. I guess there is more than a fair bit of the chip off the old block in moi - like my dad.

The kids have been doing fairly well so far, I think. I know the half man is, the girl is more reticient about sharing. The half man has no choice, his teachers send the results electronically. Check out schoolnotes.com - the teachers post homework and other assignnents there so parents can keep track. Pretty cool.

Summer is one day away from being officially over. It has been a glorious and very enjoyable season so it shall be missed. Fall is here and today, the first rains of the season started falling. So we went off to the high school pancake breakfast to raise funds for the school band with raindrops falling gently on our heads. The kids were also washing cars, ostensibly for free but donations are always expected :). The whole day has been rather gray on account of the rain.

It was quite enjoyable at the breakfast - familiar faces like Keng and Nic and some others. And a colleague and his family who were, to my surprise, also part of the social circle of Nic. He has been a great help to me on getting licences and software for our project. Nice guy.

I can hear dinner coming in through the garage. So more later...

Nimble Nic

I have been really spotty in updating all of you. Sorry, lah. Too busy and tired at the end of the workdays. Also, company now blocks blogspot so cannot even use lunch hour. A lot has happened in the summer and it was very enjoyable. There are a tonne of photos to sort through and I have a very strong suspicion they will forever remain unstructured because it takes time to organize them and that is one commodity in very scarce supply.

Today is Nic's 17th birthday - we got her a new bedset and a chocolate mousse cake from the Cheesecake factory at StoneRidge Mall. However, almost the whole cake is now in the fridge because we are so full from dinner at Applebee's. In her senior year at high school, she has turned all brown from marching daily in the sun. But she looks more athletic too and in my heart of hearts, I am actually glad because it is exercise that she would otherwise not get. She used to be so hard muscled. Let's hope she puts as much energy and heart into her studies. This is a critical year for her.

Today, I made a boo-boo. I hassled everyone (save Nic who was off to marching band in school) into waking up early to go to the dental clinic by 8:30 am. But of course, the appointment is three weeks away so the receptionist was very amused. She gamely tried to help by trying to see if there was another date that would serve us better. So silly. So we went shopping instead broken in between by the half man's first golf lesson with First Tee. 'Cept it was his usual coach at the golf academy so in reality, it just seems like more of the same. Life's joke on us.

Fall is only six days away. The nights come earlier now and you can start to feel a bit of the chill in the air. At the golf academy, even though the sun was out, there was a merciless wind just at the spot where the kids were having their putting lessons and I gave up the fight and retreated to the relative warmth and calm of the car. And took a power nap.

By the way, we decided to renew the lease and would not be moving. It is just as well. Too much work and costs. We did get the carpet steam cleaned though - I just feel so much better knowing at least it is somewhat cleaner. The kids are helping out more too -Nic with the bathrooms weekends and the half man with the vacuuming.

And did I mention the half man now is quite the chef? He has been taking delight in whipping up cookies, brownies, pancakes and french toasts for the family breakfast and tea. Today, he made a bunch of muffins that really looked very pretty - they are for his sister for her birthday and still sitting in the oven. But usually he leaves a mess for his poor mother to clean up. And we cannot eat them brownies and cookies fast enough to keep up. Help!

And in the latest twist to father-son bonding, he has been giving Spanish lessons to his dad. Mucho gusto.

Manifestation

We have an invasion of the creepy crawlies, of sorts. Ants and flies have appeared out of nowhere in the summer heat and make a nuisance of themselves in the kitchen. It is fascinating. One day the kitchen is clean as a whistle and spick and span because of a certain obession with cleanliness on the part of a resident who shall remain un-named and the next day, an army of ants is running up and down the counter. And this morning was the turn of the flies, the ants having been vanquished by suitable application of anti-ant antidotes (is that an allegory?). From whence they came? So out with the newspapers and wet towel and with many a swatting by the young and senior, the situation is under control, I think. The trusty vacuum cleaner probably needs some disinfectant soon but hey, the flies are losing...

This past week has been hot. The heat is a searing 105 fahrenheit or more and it is hard to sleep without the fan. But soon, before you know it, the colors will start changing and you will miss the long lazy days of summer.

Cabling Crawl

Almost 11 hours after the venture began, our internet connection has been repaired and the connection is now, like FAST! After living for about 2 months with somewhat better than dial up, this is lightning speed. Didn't bother at first, because I thought the computer probably had tonnes of spyware because of where the kids surfed and what they downloaded everyday, Ad-Aware notwithstanding. Then we were busy with college visits and summer roadtrips. Two weeks ago, I discovered we were almost out of disk space (seems 250GB is not sufficient these days for the kinds of things we store) so went on a mad clean up hard disk rampage and also got a 500GB external drive to free up disk space and get more virtual memory and pagefile space for the poor computer. Still didn't help. Must be the miserable cranky router that seems to be dying bit by bit on us. But also a sneaky suspicion that maybe the ISP modem is not quite up to scratch or getting senile.

So today, bought a cable modem to replace the ISP modem. Woah, fast! But router was also flaky. The old one from Singapore has more or less died and the small newer one from Fry's would not connect more than one machine. So got a high speed router at the same time as the cable modem and thought I would try a brand I had not tried before. It was DOA - wouldn't even power up. So back to the shop at dinner time to exchange for a better known brand. Two hours later, after running cables all over the floor, everything works. And works securely too. I like!

Faster speed also means more vulnerability to spyware and such. Hope the kids exercise good judgement and restraint and remember always to surf safely.

On another note, this is the long Labor Day weekend. On Friday, I brought the kids to another A's game at Oakland McAfee Coliseum and the A's won against the Detroit Tigers but after a tough fight. The tickets were FOC, courtesy of company. And the A's scored two home runs by hitting the balls out of range so again, free pizzas for everyone in the stadium. So for dinner, we had 4 personal pizzas at Round Table and added some garlic twists. Nice!

Will write about the long lazy summer days another time and post the tonnes of photos we took from the two road trips. YY have almost all of them too and so has Ah Yee. Wonder how she is and whether she has shown her children and grandchildren all the pictures from her month's stay here in North America.

My back is sore from crawling around laying the cables and making everything work. So I am done for the night. Cheers!

Sizzling Summer

We are having a sort of heat wave in the dying days of summer. Temperatures are the highest they have been all summer into the 3 digit range. Today has been the hottest yet, over 101 fahrenheit, but I wouldn't really know, having been in the office all day. But you feel it when you tried to go to sleep. It is uncomfortable and then I cave in and run the air-conditioner for a couple of hours till everyone is asleep and then turn it off. The electricity bill will climb soon enough when winter comes and this house gets freakishly cold.

You can tell the days are getting shorter. Now I have to turn on the bathroom light in the morning to use the bathroom when I did not have before the threesome left. And it is dark by 8:00pm.

It has been more than 2 weeks since Mom, Ah Yee and YY left and the house seems empty without them. The kids are back to school this week but I did not go to the registrations. Work in the office is very heavy with a lot of project deadlines looming and all kinds of issues to solve. Still it is challenging and interesting.

I have not written much about what we did in summer. There was so much going on that keeping a journal seemed like a thing that could wait. And before you know it, it's been a month or more and you wonder where the time went.

And we have been looking around for houses to rent. The lease is almost up and we are very tempted to move. The landlady wanted to pass the increase in interest rates on her mortage to us but I resisted and she relented because I think in her heart she realises we are probably model renters. So we went looking and saw some very nice houses. No decisions yet. Gotta weigh the pros and cons but time is running out on us and we must decide soon.

I have a large sleep debt so this is going to be short. Hope I will have the energy one of these days to write about the busiest month I have had in a while. So until then, adios.

Finally

I am arisen from the deep vale of silence. It has been a long time, not for want of things to write about but from lack of bandwidth. It has been a really busy month or so on both home front and on the work front. But I love it. Better doing lots of things and finding lots of challenges than idling away what little is left of my sojourn on mother earth.

The month that mom, my aunt, YY were here were heaven, pretty much. So nice for once to have people take care of me, make sure there are always warm meals waiting, a clean home to come back to and conversation droning on in the background. Wish these kinds of times never have to end. We made two roadtrips, both exciting in their own ways. Will try to find time to verbalise them here but not now. I am bushed from a very hectic week in the workplace and it is getting late. So adieu and I'll be in touch.

Did I mention that the Oakland A's scored a grand slam and everyone in the stadium was rewarded with a single topping personal pizza courtesy of Round Table Pizza? Since we had 5 tickets, we could get 5 pizza just by showing our tickets. Of course, one was Marta's. So last night, the four of us headed out to Crow Canyon for a pizza dinner after a long round of tennis with Nic's friend, Anand.

So much has happened this week. We went to Central Park on July 4 for fireworks. There was a very festive mood with lots of families having picnics and bbq's, kids and their dads throwing balls, a rock concert going on with a crowd dancing in front of the stage, ... and naturally, the entrepreneurial ones at food stands selling cotton candy, drinks and some quick snacks.

Next day, I went to work. Then on Friday, we headed out North for our first college tour. To UC Davis. Man, it was boiling hot and after walking over an hour to find lunch, another one and a half hour under the blazing sun listening to a student guide tell us all the good things about the college was pretty taxing. He was a good guide and his enthusiasm for the school showed. But still I was relieved when the tour finally ended. UC Davis seems to have a lot going for it. Singaporeans probably would not naturally list it as one of their top choices but it is very strong in certain engineering disciplines, especially in agricultural and animal sciences. The school also looks "safe" - environment is pleasant and you don't get the sense that kids there party more than they study. Lots of cycling cos they are discouraged from driving seeing as the town itself is just at the edge of the campus. In terms of acreage, certainly the largest of the UC campuses. There are even very popular wine and beer making and research classes. What would you expect from being so close to Napa?

After the tour, as it was on the way back, we stopped at Vacaville for a spot of outlet shopping. So naturally, visits to Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein, Levi's, Banana Republic were on the agenda. The one spoiler was a whining half man who is not a good shopper. He could not wait to head back home.

We had dinner at Applebees and then drove home, dead tired.

Today, Sunday, we are about to head out the door to Stanford. Sending Doris to her conference for the next four days. And our second college tour of the season.

So here the boy and I are, at home rather tired after hours on the road and walking around Stanford. Luckily, the weather today is beautiful unlike at Davis. Perfect day to visit a charming campus with more of the easy going California atmosphere than at Davis. The tour was shorter, only 45 mins and the guide as usual rather euphoric about all the good qualities of the school from teaching assistants to professors to all the outstanding credentials of the different faculties. Well you can hardly fault him, it is one of the world's best.

Bought the half man a Stanford hoodie from the student coop that I know will get a lot of use. We were able to get up Hoover Tower this time unlike in winter. Very nice 360 degree views of the campus and much of the Bay Area as far as the foothills to the west and Fremont to the east.

We sent Doris off to her Advanced Placement in English conference and had to stay to get her settled in. There was a mixed up over her room. Then picked up a fish at the Szechuan restaurant for dinner, lots of sunflower seeds at Ranch 99 and back home for Nicole's tennis game with her friends.

I am tired...

Baseball Bash

The Oakland A's won last night. It was fun, going to a baseball game to soak up Americana, especially on the eve of Independence Day. Cannot get more of homeland culture than in a town not suburbia like San Ramon. So we ate oily garlic fries and fish and chips and the kids had some cotton candy and very expensive dibbs. And we watched the A's thrash the Blue Jays and did the wave several times and added our share to raising the decibel levels when the signboards told us to make noise. We had picked Marta, Nic's best friend, up and the 5 of us sat in quite a good area so we had a good view except of course for the constant traffic of people selling stuffs and folks going up and down to get yet more food or beer. Ryan's first baseball game and Nic summed it up towards the end with "you so have to bring us to more games" or something like that.

The game ended with everyone standing up to watch the last moments of victory and then the crowd on the upper levels started streaming down, crowding the aisles. Then on to the field after the officials had set up barricades to protect the play area. When everyone had settled down on their picnic blankets which took quite a while, the fireworks started and it was an extravaganza, a symphony of fire to patriotic American songs over the sound system.

Getting out of the stadium was a traffic challenge but what would you expect? Thank you GuGu for Garmin Nuvi! She has become an indispensable companion on trips to the unknown and a real life saver. All in all, a totally good experience. Too bad the Man was not around to share it with us. Today, I checked my cell and it seems he called at about 9:30pm. We would not have heard the phone over the cacophony in the stadium, especially as it was about the end of the game when the A's were about to end with a 3 to 1 home run victory over the poor Canadians.

To my bitter dismay, none of the two cameras I successfully bidded on eBay showed up so I have no pictures to share. One of the sellers actually live in San Leandro and if I had known, I could have picked up the camera myself days ago. And he obviously did not bother to check that I live in a place he visits regularly and he could also have dropped the camera off at our home. Because I paid by check, he had to wait for it to clear, otherwise it would have taken only 2 days to get the camera, blah blah blah... A strange confluence of events cascading one on another that ended up with his offering to cancel the sale and refund the money to which I heartily agreed. And the other camera has just only been shipped yesterday. So I will still be unable to take any pictures of today's fireworks at Central Park. Bummer!

The good news is the half man has taken lots of pics and some videos with the camera from YY and will be posting them on his own blog. So watch out for them.

And this morning, had to drag myself and Nic out of bed at 6 to send her to Central Park where she was a volunteer at the San Ramon 10K run. Over a thousand people turned up for the run and Nik's son, Calvin, came in third for his age group. As for me, I went home after dropping her off to resume my sleep. It was like death, I was so tired. And since I brought her home at 10, that girl has been in dreamland, making up for lost sleep.

And Lay Keow came over half an hour ago to drop off a bag of plums from her garden and share a story about an impending marriage in her family. That's a story I cannot share.

More later about our adventures of the rest of our first Independence Day...

Funtime

I am so looking forward to the next few days. I've bought 5 tickets to see the Oakland A's against the Toronto Blue Jays at the Oakland McAfee Stadium on Jul 3. Marta and Doris are joining the 3 of us. This will be our first baseball game since landing here and I am certain it won't be the last. It will be fun because it is eve of Independence Day and there will be fireworks after the game. I am told by my colleagues that it will be awesome. We will probably come back very late. Oh, I hope my new cameras arrive soon. I want to take pictures, lots of pictures, maybe a video of the fireworks.

Then the very next day, there is a run at Central Park next to the Community Center in the afternoon followed by, you guessed it, FIREWORKS again. Nic and I went to Costco and Target today hoping to find a picnic blanket but there was none to be had so we had to settle for a tarp. Planning to bring a picnic basket so we can all sprawl on the field and just enjoy the atmosphere.

Then we may make a day trip to Yosemite. Doris has never been there and I may bring along a colleague from Singapore who is all here by herself and has also never been to Yosemite. The boy will be the only rose among a lot of thorns.

Who knows maybe a shopping spree could be in the agenda. There are so many ads on July 4 sales. Too tempting not to go see what the fuss is about. Gilroy? Vacaville? Maybe the latter. Planning to visit UC Davis on my Friday off this week as part of Nic's college visits and Vacaville is on the way but time may be too short. Davis is about 2 hours' drive. Still the daylight hours are long.

Doris just came back from Salt Lake City. We are going out for dinner - too lazy to cook. So stay tune. I am keeping my fingers crossed about the cameras. Would hate to lose the photo opportunities.

Sigh

There are too many bumps on the road right now. Tough people and project issues on the office front and kids issues on the home front and the Man is leaving on a jet plane tonite, leaving me with two bored teens at home, a loose cannon north across the border and a lonely young adult screaming for love and attention in ox-town. What's a working mom to do? I need love and attention too!

Lethargy

Nic is off to Yosemite today with her friends and the boy and I went off to his golf lesson and then to Walnut Creek for a bit of errand. It is a hot, lazy summer Saturday afternoon. We should be out making most of the long hours of sunshine but we are stuck at home listening to the boy at the piano and feeling sleepy. Must really get a move on, making the most of summer. Like going to Six Flags (where unfortunately, a teen just had her ankle tragically sliced off by a loose wire on the superman ride in Kentucky) as I had been planning in my head for months, waiting for the cold of winter and early spring to give way to warmer temperatures. And now that the warmer days are here, we have not made the plans. Shame. But I did get us tickets to watch a baseball game on the eve of Independence Day, Jul 3 at Oakland. Of course, the Man will be far away in Asia then so we will try to enjoy ourselves without his company. Doris wants to watch the game with us so I must get an extra ticket. Best part is, because it will be hours away from Jul 4, there will be fireworks. I am looking forward to soaking in a bit of Americana.

Can't wait to receive the cameras I won. But that won't be for some days yet cos I just mailed off the checks. Which reminds me, I oughta collect my poor ol' Coolpix from the darn camera repair shop.

Wonder what we should do for the rest of the day. Maybe go ride the bikes. More later.

Pre-dinner stamping as moron. Post-dinner, post-fruitless drive to Danville to collect my camera, ice cream and leftover watermelons and pointless stabbing conversation with a dour teen and sarcasm disguised as humor. That's how this day ended. Sighness.

Click Click

Success! Maybe one two many. I got my camera alright from eBay but instead of just one, Sniper got me two. I was even aware of it because there was so much going on in the office so when I finally had time to check, there were two successful bids. But that's OK. I can always have a spare for a present to someone special.

Doris is still with us and a wonderful presence she is. Since she has been here, the Man has been less grouchy and we have been eating more healthily and exercising a bit more. She has convinced my two kids to go swimming and made us eat more salads and sushi. Wish she can stay with us all the time.

Bidding Binge

It has been a humbling experience - being beaten at the game of auctioning on eBay and being taught a lesson by a complete stranger on how to bid because he was not pleased that I drove up the price he eventually ended up paying, hee hee. I comprehend now how addictive this game can be. I have been at the PC for hours. Wish my Coolpix did not give up its ghost. Then I would not have been so hooked. The estimate to repair poor Coolpix is about as much as some of the winning bids for a newer Coolpix with higher resolution, greater optical zoom and larger LCD. Such is the consequence of the relentless march of technology. So a throwaway society we become because it makes no sense to repair anything remotely electronic anymore.

Doris has been learning how to drive with my Civic. She is really quite good despite having been deprived of driving privileges for almost 20 years. I know she will pass easily.

It is late and I am about to retire from a day on the eBay. So far I have lost 3 bids, all within the last few seconds. Wish me luck for the next 2 days. Good nite.

Lull

I have been bidding on eBay for a camera to replace my whitened Coolpix and not getting anywhere yet. Just trying to see if I get lucky. I am getting point and shoot withdrawal symptoms. It is this darn blog and picassa. Feel like I must upload something now and then. And the idiotic photo shop where I took my Coolpix to get a repair estimate has very poor customer service. Promises to call back with an estimate are not kept so I am still waiting, one week after I sent the thing in.

Doris is here to stay with us. We like. When family comes, it seems more complete. Went up to Santa Rosa yesterday tp pick her up and we were a full hour later than anticipated because traffic was just so bad at many stretches on the 90 miles or so from here to there. Friday traffic is always bad on the highways. It was so slow moving at some points that I was seriously getting drowsy and had to shake myself once in a while or rolled down the windows, anything, to keep the brain working. I had set Nuvi to take the fastest route and of course, since we do not have the traffic functionalities on the poor guy, it continues to think that the highways should be the fastest. I should have trusted my instincts and reset to shortest routes. Then Nuvi would have taken us on the nice scenic but oh so many traffic stops way we traversed last week. Lesson learned. Over the years, I have found that oftentimes when I mistrust my instincts, there is a price to pay.

I wonder what we shall do today. The man has just left us all behind while he goes to the driving range.

The weather has turned very hot. Last few days have been a sizzling 90+ fahrenheit and the days are fabulously long. The sky is still light past 8:30 pm. Yum. Must enjoy while it lasts.

School's over for the girl and boy so I am a little fearful the house will be more messy than usual. Hope they know how to pick up after themselves on a daily basis. That's all for now.